Why are my kids so weird?

[LadyC]

They're strange little people.  Both of them.  (Shut up, MiniMe, you are a bizarre little thing and you know it.  : )

I figured many of us on this board have children.  Maybe someone out there has kids as weird as mine.  LOL

Y'all know how odd MiniMe is since she's a little ClayManiac and lurks around here.  The kid is going into the 9th grade and tests on a college level on all the standardized testing.  SMART girl, very intelligent.  But blonde all the way to her tiny little arm hairs.  Out of the blue one day she turned and said, "What's a gazebo?"  Huh?  Where'd that come from. So I explained what a gazebo is, not as easy as it sounds either.  Since then she's asked me at least 2,000 times, and always out of nowhere.  She would swear she'd never asked it before.

So when she babbles on this board and doesn't make any sense, just respond with, "What's a gazebo?"   :  

My son, who is seven, is even stranger than MiniMe.  Last night we were lounging around watching TV and he suddenly turns to me and says, "Mom, why do people have to be nice to each other?  Can't we just feel?"  Before I could stop smothering my laughter in my pillow he decided he didn't need an answer.  He said, "Why do you say space is a vacuum?  There are no planets in our vacuum cleaner."

Someone tell me that I am not alone.  Y'all have weird kids?  Share...

[wil555]

I'm a little young to have weird kids, but when they pop up, I'll be sure to let you know.  :P

Because my kids will be ODD.

[outthereforclay]

Ok, gotta share this...about 5 years ago my daughter Alex was riding with me to take our new dog to get neutered. She and I had discussed what this entailed, complete with all the correct anatomical nomenclature. (She wa eight at the time and had already hit me up for the birds and the bees story and had insisted on getting the REAL scoop, no euphemisms allowed : )

Anyway, for the previous week our dog had been home and, not yet being relieved of his urge to..., well, as dogs are inclined to do, He had been...uh...attacking just about every object in the house. This activity had been observed often by Alex and whatever friend of hers happened to be there at the time. From time to time I could hear them giggling and screaming, "Oh, no! Here it comes, here it comes...look! There it is again..."--no doubt watching poor Shadow exercise his right as a healthy male to express his sexuality on some poor pillow or table leg.... :oops:

Anyway...we're finally on our way to the spay/neuter clinic to end the madness and Alex says suddenly, "Mom, I'm confused. If they cut off his p***s, how's he going to pee?" :

Swallowing my guffaws, I reminded her that "Sweetie, remember what we talked about? It's not his p***s they're cutting off; it's his testicles."

Silence for a block or two, then..."Oh, yeah....well, they can go ahead and cut off his p***s, too, for all I care---I'm tired of looking at the thing!"

 :  :

After working hard to keep us safely in our lane while laughing hysterically, I looked at her in the rearview mirror and said, "You just keep thinking that way honey.....for a LONG time!" :

[LadyC]

ROFL!  That's hilarious!  What a cutie you have there.  Is your furniture safe now?

We had a male Brittney Spaniel that liked to ... show his affection with objects alive or inanimate, didn't matter.  My son was five at the time, and when the dog would jump on him and try to steal his virtue he'd say, "Look, Mom!  Sam's dancing with me!!"   :

[Prissy]

LadyC and OutthereforClay,

ERMA BOMBECK LIVES and she goes by the names of LadyC and Outthereforclay.

You two are a scream!  I was laughing all through your posts. You're better than a lot of the stuff in magazines today!!

By the way, LadyC, I do have a gazebo in my back yard by the pool.  PM me your address and I'll send you a picture of it.  Then when MiniMe asks what a gazebo is you can flash her the picture!! :
(Sorry I can't post pictures yet.  I'm still learning and Photo Bucket hates me.) :evil:

Prissy

[mrs. c.]

Thanks for my morning laugh ladies!!!

[MiniMe]

I have one thing to say mom!! I learned from the beast, I mean the best!!  :

[LadyC]

I have one thing to say mom!! I learned from the beast, I mean the best!!  :

You gettin' lippy with me, girl???



Don't MAKE me come in there!!!

[MiniMe]

AAAAAHHHHHH!! Just the thought is enough to scare anyone to death!!! HELP!! If only I had a lock on my door!!

[LadyC]

COWARD!!!  LOL

[aikenismyidol]

:  :  :

I just got a lock on my door...
BIG mistake on moms part
 :

[MiniMe]

I'm no coward!!!The sight of you would make Arnold Schwartzenegger (or however you spell it) run and hide under his bed with his big fluffy teady bear,  calling for his mommy!!  :

[LadyC]

MiniMe ... who let you out of your cage???  

And Monica - WHAT are you doing behind that locked door, my dear?  Enquiring minds want to know...

[Her]

Lady C and Outthere---too funny!  Thanks for sharing!

Got one from my daughter, who's Scooter (she's an eight grader)here on the site!  Lady C, you pretty much described her when you described your ninth grader :D

Anyhow, political times upon us and those little signs stuck on the side of the road everywhere asking to vote for whatever local candidates...One sign said vote forSUE HERSHEY  Scooter asked, Mom who would want to sue, Hersheys???  I thought I'd pee in my pants....

Have a great Clayday all.......

[LadyC]

Anyhow, political times upon us and those little signs stuck on the side of the road everywhere asking to vote for whatever local candidates...One sign said vote forSUE HERSHEY  Scooter asked, Mom who would want to sue, Hersheys???  I thought I'd pee in my pants....

Have a great Clayday all.......

ROFL!!!  Hilarious.  Things that make ya go

[aikenismyidol]

MiniMe ... who let you out of your cage???  

And Monica - WHAT are you doing behind that locked door, my dear?  Enquiring minds want to know...

Practice my dancing for Clay!!  :D  Mom just gets mad when we are fighting and I lock her out  :roll:

[MiniMe]

LOL Oh how I wish!!! I'd pay dearly for it but it would be worth it!! :