CM Clay Discussion 33:: Our Main Clay Discussion Thread (All Members Welcome)

[claydevotee]

BARBARA, thank you for the sage advice and supportive words.  I know you are extremely familiar with Asst. Living Homes, as well.    

LINDSAY, what fabulous news about your brother.  IMHO The fact that he was in such good physical shape to start with probably saved his life.  So glad you can take that worry off of your already-full plate.  Full-speed ahead! 

MEESA is getting married on Saturday!  Saying that just puts a huge smile on my face.          

Although I've already wished safe travelS to all of the fortunate people attending the PBS taping.....I'd like to say it again....ENJOY THE CONCERT AND THE COMPANY OF ONE ANOTHER!!! 

[claydevotee]

On a more somber note.  I just heard that a young man from our local high school took his own life last night.  He was found in his bedroom closet hanging from the ceiling.  His younger sister found him this morning.  He was bullied incessantly because he was in the Drama Club and not part of the "In Crowd".   I bring this to you because we have discussed bullying here on the CM, esp. in regards to Clay.

 I  can't begin to tell you how enraged I feel right now.  At the same time I am so very grateful that somehow through the grace of God above my 2 now adult sons escaped taking this tragic and final step.  As I have mentioned often in the past, both were bullied incessantly throughout jr. high and high school because they were "nerds", "geeks" and not particularly athletic.  They were accused of "using too many big words" and not being like the rest of the kids.    My heart goes out to this family at this time.  I don't know them personally, but I do feel that I understand the pain the mother is feeling right now.  They will be in my prayers.

[Marilyn]

Lindsay, so glad your brother is going home- wishing him a speedy recovery.

Thea, what a horrible ending for a young life. Why do kids have to be so cruel to one another? And those kids will probably never see that they are the ones who drove him to this tragic final step.

Praying for his family, and praying that bullies will see the light and shoulder the blame for this- although it will never happen.

[claydevotee]

Praying for his family, and praying that bullies will see the light and shoulder the blame for this- although it will never happen.

MARILYN, you are so right.  Sadly, it will most likely never happen.   

[Sundancer]

On a more somber note.  I just heard that a young man from our local high school took his own life last night.  He was found in his bedroom closet hanging from the ceiling.  His younger sister found him this morning.  He was bullied incessantly because he was in the Drama Club and not part of the "In Crowd".   I bring this to you because we have discussed bullying here on the CM, esp. in regards to Clay.

 I  can't begin to tell you how enraged I feel right now.  At the same time I am so very grateful that somehow through the grace of God above my 2 now adult sons escaped taking this tragic and final step.  As I have mentioned often in the past, both were bullied incessantly throughout jr. high and high school because they were "nerds", "geeks" and not particularly athletic.  They were accused of "using too many big words" and not being like the rest of the kids.    My heart goes out to this family at this time.  I don't know them personally, but I do feel that I understand the pain the mother is feeling right now.  They will be in my prayers.

 

This makes me so angry. What about the parents of the kids doing the bullying? Are they just as ignorant and mean-spirited as their kids are? How can anyone teach a child that it's okay to set out to hurt someone?

[corbet]

     HoW very sad about that poor young boy,I do believe hate and ignorance begins at home.

       As someone said." these tormentors have no remorse"

           I can"t begin to imagine the sorrow of his family.
           
                                           Betty

[claydevotee]

This makes me so angry. What about the parents of the kids doing the bullying? Are they just as ignorant and mean-spirited as their kids are? How can anyone teach a child that it's okay to set out to hurt someone?

SUNNY, based on my personal experience about 15 years ago, some parents of bullies would blame the victim for being so "different" that he "invites bullying" and then chalk it up to the old "Survival of the fittest" theory.   Truly...it's ugly out there. 

BETTY,    Safe travels, sweet lady!

[Sundancer]

SUNNY, based on my personal experience about 15 years ago, some parents of bullies would blame the victim for being so "different" that he "invites bullying" and then chalk it up to the old "Survival of the fittest" theory.   Truly...it's ugly out there. 

AAUUUGGGHHHHHH!!! You have got to be kidding me!! If we're talking survival of the fittest, how have people like this made it for so long? This kind of thinking boggles my mind!

[corbet]

        Thea,
                                Thank you. Just getting my bits and pieces together and then Corina will

                               take me to the train station. It"s years since I went on the train, I think the
                               four of us will have fun.
                       
                                   Looking forward to seeing everyone again. Wish you were going.
                                                     
                                                             I bet Clay is so excited, I pray this will be a wonderful
                                             Night for him.

                                                                                     Betty
                               

[GWENN]

WHAT A LONG DAY.  ALL SEEMS WELL FROM THE GYNO.  TOOK ER TO BREAKFAST AFTER.  THE PRE OP WASN'T ALL THAT BAD.  WHAT A PLACE.  LIKE A SMALL CITY.  I ROLLED BARRY AROUND IN A WHEELCHAIR SO HE HAD NO PAIN.  I GOT A WORK OUT.   HE WILL HAVE TO STOP THE CELLEBREX ON FRIDAY SO THEY GAVE HIM A NARCOTIC UNTIL THE SURGERY.  HE COULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT SOMETHING AND TYLENOL ISN'T WORTH A THING.  SO, TOMORROW WE HAVE A FEW ERRANDS AND THEN OFF I GO.  ONCE HE STARTS THE NARCOTIC, HE WILL NOT DRIVE.  BY NEXT WEEK AT THIS TIME, HE WILL BE OUT OF SURGERY, IN A ROOM, AND DRIVING THE NURSES NUTS.  I TOLD THE NURSE PRACTITIONER  THAT HE NEEDS TO STAY AT LEAST 2 DAYS.  I AM SCARED.  I STINK AS A NURSE.  I HAVE TO GO BUY A THERMOMETER.  I CAN TELL WITH MY LIPS IF YOU HAVE A FEVER, BUT I HAVE TO BE MORE EXACT.  ANNOYING.

THEA--HORRIBLE NEWS.  HORRIBLE.  BUT, AS A TEACHER, I HAVE SEEN MORE PARENTS THAN I CARE TO SAY WHO FEEL THEIR KIDS ARE NEVER WRONG.  IT IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT.  BLAME THE SCHOOL.  BLAME THE VICTIM.  GOD FORBID YOUR KID IS WRONG.  AWFUL.

LINDSAY---GOOD NEWS FROM YOU.

WELL, GOTTA GO MAKE DINNER.  THEN AN EARLY NIGHT FOR ME.  I AM POOPED.  NOT AS BAD AS YESTERDAY, BUT I AM TIRED.

I BET CLAY IS PUMPED.  I CANNOT WAIT.

GWENN

[clayharmony]

SUNNY, based on my personal experience about 15 years ago, some parents of bullies would blame the victim for being so "different" that he "invites bullying" and then chalk it up to the old "Survival of the fittest" theory.   Truly...it's ugly out there. 

AAUUUGGGHHHHHH!!! You have got to be kidding me!! If we're talking survival of the fittest, how have people like this made it for so long? This kind of thinking boggles my mind!

Indeed, my experience is like Thea's...I'd announce that bullying would not be tolerated in my classroom each year, and show a portion of Oprah's show on it...which aired shortly after Columbine...and told my parents not only would it not be tolerated, but that I would have severe consequences in place.  Well, through regular 'class meetings'... having my antenna up...and ongoing personal talks with my students, every year I'd have to have that dialogue about what differences really are...and discuss bully behavior, target behavior and on-lookers' roles.  And every year, I'd have at least one parent outraged at me..."you are picking on my kid"... When I had administrative support, a glorious 8 years of it...we were able to turn things around for these students.  Otherwise, it was don't blame me...and I don't want that complaint counted on my review, that suspension...and what not...yes, that is what derails stronger intervention on the part of school officials...you can that NCLB for it all. (The more moronic among school leaders think they can tout a safe school and just suppress any data/responsible consequences to the contrary)
As you can see I am especially passionate about this subject...I wrote my counseling master's thesis on it.

One positive note was in the news recently...it was announced that a recent study found that formal antibullying programs reduced the incidence of it by 20% and more...well duh!!!!  

[Glory]

                               AS ONE THAT WAS BULLIED IT WAS NOT ONE BIT FUN. ..THESE PEOPLE WHO BULLY ARE TRYING TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK BETTER , I ALWAYS HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS AND BOYFRIENDS, THEY REALLY DID NOT. SO GUESS WHO WAS HAPPY.

                             THEA MY FOLKS DID NOT TRY AND HELP ME THEY WERE CLUELESS ABOUT BULLIES I TOLD THEM ENOUGH. I GUESS THEY FIGURED IT WAS A PHASE,

                                MEESA, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU I KNOW YOU WILL BE A BEAUTIFUL BRIDE, SWEETHEART. I LOVVVVVVE YOU MUCH.

                         HAVE A GREAT TIME THE ONES GOING TO SEE CLAY. I HAD INTENDED ON GOING BUT CIRCUMSTANCES PREVENTED ME FROM DOING SO. MAYBE I CAN CATCH A COUPLE CONCERTS THIS SUMMER.

[Sundancer]

It would be interesting to hear from the bullies themselves--past and present. I'd like to hear the justifications behind their behavior.

[GWENN]

It would be interesting to hear from the bullies themselves--past and present. I'd like to hear the justifications behind their behavior.

ME, TOO.

BTW---I HAVE AN AMAZING DAUGHTER.  WE JUST TALKED FOR OVER AN HOUR.  I LOVE HER.

GWENN

[WilsonClaymate]

As far as bullying is concerned, some children can be very cruel and even think it is funny to ridicule and humiliate others that they think are not as good as they are--or even worse, just for the "fun" of it.  Unfortunately, some parents are either not aware or don't take it seriously.


Now on a lighter note -- everyone travelling to Raleigh tomorrow or Friday, have a safe trip and I'm looking forward to seeing all of you.

[claydevotee]

It would be interesting to hear from the bullies themselves--past and present. I'd like to hear the justifications behind their behavior.

SUNNY, I'm afraid it would go something like this:  "He deserved it.  What a dweeb" OR "He was just different from the rest of us;  he didn't fit in". Or shall we go with the complete denial, "I never thought I was bullying him".   Shall I continue?  

JOHANNA, I'm sure you were able to make a difference in your classroom in regards to bullying.  One step at a time,right???

GWENN, you're feeling the way I do when I talk to my sons on the phone.  It's wonderful to have adult, heart-to-heart conversations with our children.  I feel like I'm finally reaping the benefits and joy of having put in my time raising these kids!  What a great feeling!!!

GLORY, I'm sure you were able to give those bullies hell when you were in high school.   I wish I had had your spunk when I was in high school, that's for sure!  

GWENN, JILL, BARBARA, MARLENE, SUNNY, MICHELLE, MARILYN, BETTY and all of the PBS attendees.........Will you please have a "moment of silence" for those of us who aren't able to be there with you????  

[WilsonClaymate]

Here is the answer to one question we have had:


From CV via CH..Quiana Tweet


QUOTE
from qparler,via twitter:

Getting Ready with my sweety for the Raleigh Show! Yaay!
less than a minute ago via UberTwitter

[clayfannj]

Tomorrow begins "THE GATHERING!!"  Safe journeys to all who are going...My goodness it is like a pilgrimage to MECCA!!!!

So tragic about the boy from Thea's post. I really believe there has to be a way to make bullying a criminal activity just as harassment has finally been recognized as such. Perhaps then criminally or civilly the courts can help to make youngsters or their families accountable for the terrible consequences bullying brings..  IMHO....

[GWENN]

BEEN UP SINCE 7.  SO EXCITED.

I USUALLY THINK CORABETH IS DELUSIONAL AND OTT BUT I LOVED THIS--

It’s a special man and a special voice that can create this bond amongst so many strangers. Some of us have been friends for seven years now. Some of us will meet for the first time. People are coming from nearly forty states and three countries on planes, trains, busses and automobiles. But all roads lead to Clay this week. Because Tried and True is more than an album title. It’s a bond between singer and fan.

LOVED THIS.  IMAGINE, 40 STATES AND 3 COUNTRIES.  3 FANS FROM SINGAPORE.  WE CERTAINLY DO LOVE THIS MAN.

ERRANDS AND THEN PACKING.  JILL IS ARRIVING AROUND 8. 

GONNA TRY AND BE TOTALLY POSITIVE ABOUT EVERYTHING TODAY. 

GWENN

[claydevotee]

So tragic about the boy from Thea's post. I really believe there has to be a way to make bullying a criminal activity just as harassment has finally been recognized as such. Perhaps then criminally or civilly the courts can help to make youngsters or their families accountable for the terrible consequences bullying brings..  IMHO....
 
 
 

Yup, MARION, I agree about the need for more tangible and steeper punishment for bullies.  Something more is needed to make them and esp. their parents accountable for their actions.   If it means civil or even criminal prosecution with the possibility of a jail sentence, then I say, "So be it".  A bully serving time in a Juvenile Detention Center is still better off than a person who has taken his own life.

Tomorrow begins "THE GATHERING!!"  Safe journeys to all who are going...My goodness it is like a pilgrimage to MECCA!!!!

    Maybe somebody can bring us home some vials of "holy water" from the tap of the Marriott downtown Raleigh!  It may have special healing powers.....Who knows???!!!

GWENN, enjoy and don't get nervous.  You and everybody privileged to be going will most certainly have wonderful time in Raleigh.  And  hopefully HRH is going to be at the top of his game for the PBS performance.  Here's to new beginnings!   

Off to the gym.   Not fun, but I am feeling stronger and in more control!