CM Clay Discussion 33:: Our Main Clay Discussion Thread (All Members Welcome)

[clayfannj]

Thea,

    Hope Glory's story was helpful. Such behavior is all part and parcel of the reactions the aging have as they "gracefully" go through this last stage of their journey.  Maybe it's fear, anger or aform of deterioration in their emotional  self control.It is both frightening and  frustrating to those of us who are caretakers as we are expecting to see gratitude and cooporation for the  loving efforts we put in to help them. More often than not this is not the case. What I just want you to be reminded of is that ALL the professionals that work with geriatrics are well aware of these behavioral  patterns and know how to handle them very well. Yoiur mom is certainly NOT the exception. I used to remind myself that it was the dementia and not my mother who did these bizarre and erratic things. It helped keep me from getting upset with her.

Marlene,
     I just have to tell you the words you said to your friend Ruth were brilliant and so beautiful. I am sure you helped her in a significant way to face this challenge.

   Although I'm not going down to Raleigh this time, I am very excited  for all of you attending, and look foward to seeing it on PBS in June...

[claydevotee]

Hope Glory's story was helpful. Such behavior is all part and parcel of the reactions the aging have as they "gracefully" go through this last stage of their journey.  Maybe it's fear, anger or aform of deterioration in their emotional  self control.It is both frightening and  frustrating to those of us who are caretakers as we are expecting to see gratitude and cooporation for the  loving efforts we put in to help them. More often than not this is not the case. What I just want you to be reminded of is that ALL the professionals that work with geriatrics are well aware of these behavioral  patterns and know how to handle them very well. Yoiur mom is certainly NOT the exception. I used to remind myself that it was the dementia and not my mother who did these bizarre and erratic things. It helped keep me from getting upset with her.

MARION, thank you so much for sharing your insights.     I appreciate those willing to share their experiences with aging parents who weren't sweet,  docile and loving as they aged.   Those of you who have memories of parents who were are truly blessed.    Knowing that this behavior is going to be understood as my mother takes this next step into asst. living is very, very comforting to me.   I wish we could move her sooner, but we cannot get her out of her current apartment lease until  August 1;  however, if her behavior and ability to function continue to deterioriate, we will be moving her much sooner.  It's all on a day-to-day basis at this point.

[claydevotee]

P.S.  I'd love to hear about get-togethers around the country as the tour itinerary unfolds.  I hope to make it to at least 1 concert, and hopefully it will be where I can reconnect with those who have become dear friends to me over the past several years..   It is true (I think it was BARBARA who mentioned it earlier)....we tend to cherish our friends even more as the years go by.  Thank you, Clay!!!

[Marilyn]

Now that you are all quiet and I missed chatting with everyone, I wanted to say something.

I was not going to go to Raleigh. It was not in my budget.

But thanks to SEVERAL "Clay angels" (I will NOT say fairy godmothers- ) I will be going. There are angels here on this board and at CV who have "Clayed it forward" as a couple of them told me.

His fans are absolutely amazing, and my heart is full when I think of the generosity that abounds.

I am so very excited, and I sure do need this Clay distraction.

[Marilyn]

From Clayzedover at CV:

Bringing this from OFC with permission

There is still time to donate tickets... the time is NOW!

Thursday at noon is the deadline to donate tickets. Ticketfast only, please!

Sufficient time is needed for all involved, especially the agencies who need to distribute tickets on their end.

A huge thank you to everyone who has donated tickets thus far!

Because of your generosity, over 60 (and counting!) people with and without disabilities will be able to experience the joy of attending a concert together -- a Clay Aiken concert and TV taping! What a wonderful opportunity...

The ARC of Orange County, located in Chapel Hill, has many program participants who are excited at the prospect of attending this show. We are also working with Ronald McDonald Houses in Durham and Chapel Hill. They are excited and very pleased with the offer!

~ Sometimes change begins with something as simple as a concert ticket. ~

To donate a ticket(s), please EMAIL: ticketdonation@thewaywemakeadifference.org

Thank you!

www.thewaywemakeadifference.org 

I have looked on ebay and on Stub HUb, and there are many tickets selling from $4.00 and up. If any one here wishes to help out the less fortunate, purchase a couple of these tickets, and donate them, I think it would be a wonderful thing to do. The prices are very low on some of the tickets, so it might only cost you the price of a lunch to buy the ticket and donate.
Of course, they have to be the downloadable kind that you can email forward, not the hard copy.

What do you all think?
   

[GWENN]

MORNING--

UP EARLY TO MAKE A CAKE FOR A FUNERAL WE CANNOT GET TO.  TOMORROW IS BARRY'S PREOP AND THE FUNERAL IS THURS.  HE WILL NOT BE IN ANY SHAPE AFTER TOMORROW TO GO.  SO, AFTER I GET MY HAIR COLORED WE WILL DROP THIS OFF.  HE IS IN SO MUCH PAIN.  IT GETS WORSE BY THE DAY.  HE WILL SIT IN THE CAR WHILE I GET MY HAIR COLORED.  I WILL DRY IT AND STYLE IT AT HOME. 

THEA--WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS TYPICAL.  WE ALL HAVE STORIES AND THE OLDER OUR PARENTS GET, THE MORE OUTRAGEOUS THE STORIES.  THE ONES WITH MY MOM ARE LONG AND COMPLICATED.  BARRY'S MOM THREW MILK ON THE GOOD LOOKING NURSES AND CALLED THEM WHORES.  THEY REMINDED HER OF HOW SHE USED TO LOOK AND SHE COULDN'T STAND WHAT BECAME OF HER.  SO SAD.  MY GOOD FRIEND'S MOM REFUSES HAVING A CAREGIVER.  SHE IS IN AN ASSISTED LIVING AND SHE NEEDS ADDED HELP.  WON'T ALLOW IT.  SHE FALLS CONSTANTLY AND IS IN THE HOSPITAL A LOT.  CALLS IN THE NIGHT.  BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.  IT WAS A NIGHTMARE WHEN ER WAS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AND WE HAD TO WAKE UP BARRY'S AUNT TO TAKE CARE OF ER AND WE WOULD RUN TO DEAL WITH MY PARENTS.  THE STORIES GO ON AND ON.  JUST KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE.  IT IS NOT PRETTY.  IT JUST IS A FACT OF LIFE.  SOMETIMES I WONDER IF WE DO OUR OLDER LOVED ONES A FAVOR BY PROLONGING A NOT SO WONDERFUL LIFE.

ON A BRIGHT NOTE---IT IS GORGEOUS OUT.  3 DAYS UNTIL CLAY.

GWENN

[Sundancer]

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF WE DO OUR OLDER LOVED ONES A FAVOR BY PROLONGING A NOT SO WONDERFUL LIFE.

... which taps into issues of ethics, politics, and all sorts of sticky things. But, and

[wvclayfan]

Thea - I have no personal experience to share with you, but I do have lots of virtual I can give.

Wanted to thank you all for the kind thoughts and prayers for my brother. They did a heart catheterization this morning and it showed no blockages or signs of heart attack. The doctor said it's a viral infection that moved to his heart, so there is nothing to do but let it run its course. They're going to keep him overnight for observation. Although the infection could have come from anything, I do hope Matt re-thinks passing on the flu vaccines next year - especially since he's a teacher/coach.

-------

The moment has passed, but I can't resist. Since we may be "reliving" AI2 soon (to an extent), anyone hoping to see some spikes? Even if it's just baby ones?

 

It's okay if I'm the only one.

[lovinclay]

Lindsey, that's encouraging news about your brother.  I'll keep him in my thoughts.

Thea, your are definitely not alone in your concern for your mother.  Most of us have gone (or will go) through what you are now experiencing.  As Marion said, the health care workers in those facilities are trained to deal with all types of patients.  Just make sure you follow her care closely. 

Johanna, I'm so sorry about your cousin.   

So happy for all who are attending the concert this week!  Marilyn, you're very fortunately to have Clayangels.  They treat you well! 

[lovinclay]

Gwenn, please tell Barry I'm praying for him.  I know what he's going through having pain 24/7.  I hope the surgery is a success, and that he'll be back on his feet soon.   

[Sundancer]

The moment has passed, but I can't resist. Since we may be "reliving" AI2 soon (to an extent), anyone hoping to see some spikes? Even if it's just baby ones?

 

It's okay if I'm the only one.

Saw spikes at the Gala, I think it was. And I remember thinking he was a bit old at 30+ for them. He looked great in AI2, but since then, his hairline has reced--   forehead has grown. 


I'm so glad to hear your brother is getting good treatment and doing better.

[Sundancer]

Johanna,

I'm very sorry for the loss of your cousin. 'Sending you loving thoughts.

[claydevotee]

Wow, thank you all so much for your supportive, understanding and wise comments about the circumstances of our aging parents.  And especially I want to thank you for not brushing off my concerns with "I wish I still had my mother" and "You need to appreciate your mother while she's here".  Of course I am grateful to still have a mother and definitely I do appreciate and honor her for having brought me into the world and raised me to the best of her ability.   Just knowing somebody understands my frustration and conflicted feelings right now is very comforting!   

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF WE DO OUR OLDER LOVED ONES A FAVOR BY PROLONGING A NOT SO WONDERFUL LIFE.

...  And GWENN, I have often thought about this.  And actually on occasion my mother will say the same thing.

LINDSAY, thankfully they have come up with a legitimate diagnosis for your brother.  Prayers that the virus will run its course without permanently damaging his heart or other vital organs.  And I definitely agree with you about the flu shots.  I think my younger son learned that lesson this past fall.

SUNNY, "enlarged foreheads" are the bane of many men's existance, for sure!

Off to the gym today.  My Ipod is loaded with lots of good stuff...it's amazing how putting a question out on Facebook can help you in your daily lives.  I got tons of great suggestions from friends about gbod workout music.  I'm OK with songs from the 70's and '80s, but when it comes to 21st century music I'm clueless (except for Clay's music).

MARION, you mentioned working out 4 times a week?     I'm going to shoot for 3 times this week.  I don't think my twice weekly sessions at the gym are enough. 

Have a good one, ladies!!! 
 

[claydevotee]

GWENN, Barry's surgery is right around the corner.  Hopefully relief from pain will be, as well!   

MICKI, I'm sure you're looking forward to getting moved to your new home and starting your new life! 

 

[mimi]

The beautiful weather Barbara, Michelle,Sunny,& I ordered, is here ..It is suppose to be 72 today. The only problem the weatherman did not seem to understand that this order was not to include rain.
The forecast is still showing mostly cloudy & warmer for Fri,(71) with a small chance of a thunderstorm.Rain also possibly for Thur & Sat.,but the temperatures will be warm.

Gwenn~ I hate Barry is suffering so but we are praying for him and I hope he will find the relief he has been needing after his surgery.

Lindsey, It was good news this morning to see that your brother will be alright,and I hope he will have a speedy recovery without any problems.
When are you getting married?

Johanna, Sorry to hear about the death of your Aunt. I had and Aunt that I was very close to that filled the empty space ,after my Mom passed away,but unfortunately she is gone now too,and I am left with no Aunts or Uncles on either side of my family tree. So sad.

Thea~ Its also sad to hear about the problems with your Mom. I do know what Rogers family went through with his grandmother(she was 96) when she was in a nursing home,and it wasn't pretty. Her biggest problem was that up until she fell & broke her hip she had been keeping house,and adjusting to being in a nursing facility didn't go over to big with her..the problem was that that most of her children were also up in years,with their own health problems, and they were unable to take care of her in their homes.
Good luck, and we will also be praying for you (and your Mom)


3 DAYS GIRLS,...3 DAYS

[PHILLYLUVSCLAY]

BREAKING NEWS....BREAKING NEWS....BREAKING NEWS...
MERECAL.COM

[Sundancer]

Philly,

You da woman!!

[GWENN]

NOW, MS. THERESA, THAT IS SOMETHING WONDERFUL TO SEE.  A CD/DVD!!!!!!!!!  OMG.  HOW LONG DID WE WAIT FOR THIS?????

I SOOOOO NEEDED TO SEE THAT TODAY.

GOT MY ROOTS TOUCHED UP.  WALKED THE BEATS.  GONNA READ IN THE SUNROOM.  I HOPE TONIGHT IS A GOOD ONE.

3 MORE DAYS.

GWENN

I ALSO READ THAT TM IS PUTTING OUT SOME MORE CLOSE TIX IF YOU WANT TO UPGRADE.

[PHILLYLUVSCLAY]

YOU'RE WELCOME...

TRIED & TRUE JUST WAS PUT ON AMAZON AS WELL.

AMAZON.COM

[Pepe]

THEA, when talking about mothers I didn't mean to upset you.  I know everyone does not have the same relationship as I had with mine.  I was fortunate.  Although other people might think they  were mistreated but I never did.  While growing up I never had ice skates, or was never given a bike I  lived in a apartment where hide and seek was the form of entertainment.  I asked for things but parents never saw fit to provide me with any thing .  but they did give me lots of love and that is the important thing .  On the other hand my children were given everything but to hear them talk they never had enough.  I am afraid sometimes when I post I don't think what others have lived with.  I have raised five children and it is all but impossible to please them all, i don't even try anymore.    I know it will be better when your mother is moved , better for you and her.  It is hard to deal with things clear across the state.