Early summer 2004
Slimon: Well, he wasn't supposed to be a pop star; I mean he doesn't look like one, and I can't change my looks to be better, so why would it work on him. And, he wouldn't let us put him in a particular field or area, he just sang everything. I mean, I don't get it. It must just be that the people over here in North America are totally ridiculous or look at the world differently than we do.
Randy: Well, yeah, you really blew that one, and now we all look stupid.
Paula: Well, I tried to tell you all how hot I got every time I watched him, but Simon, you just said that I was drunk again, or it was that "old woman hot flash thing" happening. And I knew he had some dancing in there that could come out and electrify people.
Slimon: Well, if you two had ever really shown any brains before, maybe I would have paid attention to you.
Randy: Yeah, sure dude. You argued with me for weeks when I kept saying that every week he brought it and was one of the best in America.
Paula: Yeah, and I kept saying how he was so confident out there and such a natural. And all those facial things that you picked on Simon and you tried to make him stop doing them. Well, he stopped to pacify you, but the minute he left here he started doing them again. And the women go nuts every time he closes his eyes or looks at them and winks. And when he tilts his head back or to the side to sing and then straightens back up again, they just go crazy.
Slimon: Well, I still say he’s not like the normal pop star. They can dance and sing and are sexy looking and acting. And the clothes they wear are sexy and they aren’t afraid to take off some clothes to help jazz things up.
Randy: Well, I admit he’s not the normal pop star type, but you even said in the beginning that maybe that was a good thing because he would be so memorable.
Paula: He started moving and dancing again, like I asked him to. He stopped here cause you picked on him after Grease, Simon. Didn’t you see me and hear the girls in the audience going crazy when he did that. And he doesn’t need to be half naked because it’s more fun to imagine that for yourself. I mean that’s what women want. And he’s a nice guy. And he’s smart. And he is more sexy than the half naked guys. When he moves just a little bit or sways a little bit---it just does something to you. And he does shirt tugs.
Slimon: Paula, I think you’re drunk again. What the hell are you talking about? He’s sexy? Baggy clothes that look like they come off the Old Navy rack? I mean we know they did---that’s where we sent them shopping. And he can’t dance---that was horrible. And all that face stuff is distracting. And what the devil are shirt tugs? I’ve never heard of that before.
Randy: Well, the shirt tug is something he does when he sings. I saw him practicing for the IT when I was helping them. I thought his shirt was too tight or something and he was just pulling on it. I mean it was only practice so no big deal.
Paula: Shirt tugs are extremely sexy. And he growls now in his songs. And he has lots of hand motions that just drive a girl crazy knowing how detailed they can be, and then imagining them doing other things. And all those faces he makes also are magnetizing and gut wrenching. I tried to tell you he was a once in a lifetime contestant but you didn’t listen.
Slimon: Yeah, I heard “once in a lifetime.” That’s why I thought he was the perfect patsy to let in the show. Let him get a few rounds like JPL and then lay him out flat with no real ability to make it. Well, you know how that went. By the time it was time to get rid of him, he had played his own game with the audience, always thanking them and smiling and winking and begging them to vote for him. There was no way to stop him from staying on the show. They would have never believed he was voted off before the others. But we had Ruben picked for the winner. That was believable, at least fake believable. He did also have a lot of fans here every week. Plus I really tore him up almost every week, baiting him to say something back to look bad. I mean, we know he is fast with the wise cracks and comments. I was supposed to get a rile out of him. But he just stood there every week and smiled that sideways grin that I hated. Then blowing Vincent was supposed to be the killer. And we made sure the audience knew about it. And we didn’t tell them what really happened. And we said how terrible that first song of final night was. Of course, then he has to do Bridge Over Troubled Water and how do you criticize that song. I mean, I tried to say he was still off that night. But you two just sat there and gushed all over him. I mean gee Paula, you tell him Unchained Melody was the best performance of the entire season and then the next week you say Bridge Over Troubled Water was his personal best. Well, think woman. What does that say? That he just did it 2 weeks in a row.
Paula: Well, I couldn’t help it, he just took my breath away.
Randy: Yeah, dude, I mean the dawg just flat out sang those last several songs. I just couldn’t lie that much.
Slimon: Well, I still just don’t get it. He lost. He should have been over with. Wait a minute----it just hit me. Wait a minute----something you said Paula. Wait a minute----how did you know about what he does now when he sings,----dances again, face motions again, and shirt tugs. YOU HAVE BEEN WATCHING HIM
Paula: Well---I was just told about -----well a friend saw him ----- I was at the AMA Awards.
Randy: Naw, Paula, he didn’t really do any of that at the AMA.
Paula: Well, someone must have told me ---- OK I ADMIT IT. I AM A CLOSET CLAYMATE AND I HAVE DOWNLOADED VIDEOS OF EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE ALL YEAR.
And Simon, YOU ARE SO STUPID CAUSE YOU BLEW IT ON HIM
OK, so I admit it's not really on tape, but it probably is true.
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