Clay Aiken Was My Teacherby Dianne Austin
My daughter Chelsea recently got to sing a duet with Clay Aiken at one of his concerts in front of about 1,200 people, and I would call it a life changing experience for her. She’s seventeen years old. If you’re not her age now, you’re probably older than she is, reading this. Even if you’re only a year older, remember back to when you were seventeen. And while you’re remembering, I’ll tell you a story.
Before this life changing experience, Chelsea was your typical 17. But then, what exactly is “typical” at this age? If you tell me it’s finding yourself, feeling a little awkward, being unsure about many things, but acting as if you know it all; walking around with the handset of the phone growing out of the side of your head, or having extremely high ideals and having the ability to only see black and white—well, then you might be talking about Chelsea.
However, if you tell me it’s being boy or girl-crazy, wearing lots of make-up, piercing multiple body parts, donning nothing but black, wearing clothes that are too sexy for one so young, or not being “real” with your parents, well, then, you don’t have her in a nutshell. She doesn’t do any of the latter.
Even if you have or know a 17 year old with the tendencies of either the former or the latter groups, or maybe a combination thereof, you probably know how “atypical” this kind of human being is with relation to the rest of the world.
In other words, speaking from someone who’s been through it and now has a daughter going through it, 17 is transition, uncertainty, discovering and blooming. And our family has seen a lot of that in our daughter during this last year.
It really all began at around sixteen for Chelsea. Well, “it” actually began for her at around two, but it didn’t become really intense until about sixteen.
At this point in time Clay Aiken was making his presence known on the music scene, coming in second to Ruben Studdard, on that popular show—you know the one I’m talking about. Chelsea took one look at the geeky redhead with glasses and the determined look on his face and fell hopelessly in love—with his voice, his demeanor and yes, even with his look. He inspired her with his voice but I think there was another reason why she was drawn to him every time she saw him: he reminded her of herself. . . someone who had a different sort of “wrapping” on the outside than the world was used to seeing for one so young with talent.
Exceptionally bright and verbal, very right-brained, artistically talented and exquisitely bossy, Chelsea has always exhibited diverse interests in a multitude of areas. Music (violin, clarinet, piano and oboe), visual and graphic art, writing, horseback riding, singing and volleyball, to name just a few, with singing her latest endeavor. She’s always been grossly fickle, however, in her dedication to her interests: overly devoted for a few years, and then she’s done. The ones that seem to have stuck are art and singing.
A little bundle of bursting talent (and she is petite--5’3 tall, just like her mother), she is a senior this year at Capistrano Valley High School in California, and seems to be excited about taking choir for the first time. She likes the new teacher, and even had the guts to tell the class about her experience with Clay on stage during the summer (Chelsea is concerned about not coming across as a braggart, whereupon I always comment, “You’re not bragging, you’re just tooting your own horn a little”. Boy does that saying go over in a big way—just like a great big lead balloon).
Although singing is her newest passion, her oldest one is art, and she excels in the area of pencil and charcoal drawing.
And along with all of this talent, she is a huge nonconformist and a hardheaded, strong-willed individual who is difficult to parent—always has been and probably always will be. So try to imagine what life has been like for two people who are the proud parents of one little package that has these characteristics combined with those of the typical 17 year old I discussed earlier and there you have Chelsea. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to tear my hair out.
Clay Aiken has been in the picture for the last year and a half. Not just for Chelsea, but for our entire family. And yes, her room is covered—every square inch—with pictures and posters of him, and yes, she refers to things he does and says often, which indicates he’s a bit of a role model for her.
But still, Chelsea is very much her own, unique person, and if you met her, you would see a girl that may be searching still to fit in with peer groups and the wider world around her; however, you would also see someone with an exceptionally strong ego who has a good solid sense about the planet she lives on and a desire to want to lead in some way. If you think this sounds like someone else we all feel like we know and love, whose name might be mentioned a few times in this piece, you’re right!
In a foreword for the book Yes, Your Parents are Crazy by Michael J. Bradley, Clay explains what it was like for him at 17, and speaks about the “wrapping” he had then, and how it changed after he had become the American Idol heartthrob.
He explains what it was like for him as a teenager, and how he tried hard to fit in, when his looks, along with a sweet “aw-shucks” kind of innocence may have contributed to his not being accepted into every cool group in high school, and may have actually prevented him from making friends in general. At 17, he decided to stop trying so hard and just let Clayton be Clayton. When he relaxed about his looks and let himself express who he truly was, then he felt better about himself and made more friends. This in turn led to a more outgoing, easy personality and because he got along easier with people, he learned to enjoy life a little more.
Later, when he became the American Idol, (oops, excuse me I meant the first runner-up), he was “made over”. And although they changed the hair, took away the glasses, and spruced some other things up a bit, everyone found that the person that existed inside could never be made over. Clay tells kids that the wrapping had changed, and that was all. The lesson they can learn from him is that they don’t need to wait until they experiment with their look, or decide to change the outer layer: The bottom line is they don’t have to change it at all. They just need to try, as hard as it may seem, to let their true self shine through.
So, when Chelsea had gotten to the point in time where she had the opportunity to get up on that stage with the man that she had been loving and emulating for the past one and a half years, it became, I think, a turning point in her life. Not only was she standing before the person that meant so much to her as a role model, but she was having to shed her inhibitions and strike a confident pose for the first time in her life in front of so many people by singing WITH him. Talk about life altering!
And afterward, when we were home, and some time had gone by, she may have begun to evolve away from the typical 17 she was before, because there have been a few signs from this young lady that point to the fact that she is really showing some maturation.
She’s been more outgoing and smiley-faced lately, when before, she tended towards a bit of the introverted and sometimes morose individual around those she didn’t know.
I could be wrong, but she seems a little more pliable lately; a little more willing to hear my side of things before beginning to argue with me.
There’s a bit of a bounce to her step. Did I detect a tiny bit of a flirtatious nature at Sportmart today with the redheaded young man at the register? I think so!
And the one I couldn’t believe:
Chelsea was involved in an interview with a new vocal coach. The woman was talking to her and asking some questions about what she hoped to gain from their time together, and what her goals were with her singing. I was there also, so some pressure of “mom watching” was added to the mix. Chelsea sat with perfect posture, hands folded, looking this lady right in the eye and explained what she wanted from the association. She verbalized well, smiled and laughed a little when the instructor joked with her and Chelsea presented herself as the beautiful, poised and bright young lady I always knew she could be. Amazing transition!
Clay Aiken explains in his foreword that there was a kind of realization that took place at 17 for him as well. He decided to let go, “give it up”, and abandon all attempts to try to fit in. Instead, he relaxed into the person he truly was inside, and found the “fit” he was looking for—the fit that was within his own skin, not within his peer group. And that made the difference.
Chelsea seems to be feeling a little more comfortable in the skin she’s in these days too, and her comfort zone has widened probably due to many factors.
Each of us goes through it as a part of the natural progression of time. Some are fortunate to find out who they are and relax into it earlier in life, while others have a rough time, and the learning and self-realization doesn’t come until much later. It’s part of the growing up process.
But sometimes, when it hasn’t been a smooth road along the way, and the individual has had more downs than ups with peers, parents or just most of the world around them, there can be a person or event that can act as a catalyst to begin to change things around for them.
With Chelsea, it was an event AND a person.
Switch to: the other day in high school choir class when the teacher was auditioning for voice parts, and Chelsea was singing for her.
“OK Chelsea, very good. We’re done. You’ll sing soprano, OK?”
“OK”
“Now I know you haven’t been in choir until now, but where did you say you sang before?”
“I didn’t.”
“You didn’t say?”
“No, I mean I didn’t sing before.”
“Not at all, anywhere?”
“Not really. I mean I sing at home, for myself, with my mom and stuff—things like that. Oh! Last year, I tried out for American Idol. And this year I think I mentioned that I got to go up and sing with Clay Aiken at one of his concerts.”
“That’s right. But nothing ongoing, right?”
“Right. But, I just started with a vocal coach last week. I’ll be working with her every week to get ready for American Idol auditions this year.”
“OK, good. Well, Chelsea you must have been listening somewhere. I mean, you must be watching and listening intently somewhere and then practicing on your own at home, a lot. Because you’re very good.”
“Thank you”.
”You’re welcome. See you in class tomorrow.”
Chelsea said that when the teacher gave her the compliment with a somewhat puzzled look on her face, she had an immediate thought, but didn’t say it out loud. It was, “Yes, you’re right. I’ve had a very good teacher, and I HAVE been listening.”
And when she was telling me about these thoughts she had when the choir instructor gave her the praise, we both smiled at one another, because, of course we agreed that her teacher had been Clay Aiken.
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Dianne Austin is a freelance entertainment writer who lives in Southern California with her family and two dachshunds. E-Mail Dianne at deedaustin@yahoo.com
Editor: Michelle Arce
Copyright 2003 Dianne Austin. Printed with the permission of the writer.
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