CLAY NATION: I WILL CARRY YOU By Lynn Venhaus
Wearing commemorative concert T-shirts and broad grins, ardent fans of Clay Aiken are crisscrossing the country catching multiple appearances at state fairs and indoor venues this summer. This may not exactly qualify as a phenomenon, as females of all ages leave home and hearth to hear the chill inducing “Solitaire” encore just one more time. But what’s truly remarkable is how some fans come to experience their favorite singer’s glorious voice live: Through the kindness of strangers. What is emerging throughout Clay Nation in 2004 is a generosity and a camaraderie that is a unique and special occurrence. But then, look at the man himself, and all that he inspires. We call this new movement, “Clay It Forward.”
My two teen-age sons stood in the kitchen while I gave them last-minute instructions, some cash for meals, and a list of phone numbers, including two motels in Springfield, Ill., and Indianapolis, Ind., where I would be staying.
“You are seeing Clay Aiken in concert two times in four days?” the 19-year-old asked while the 16-year-old shook his head and rolled his eyes. “It was a deal I couldn’t pass up,” I answered defensively as they chuckled. “My friend offered a fifth row ticket!”
“Mom, you’re like a Deadhead!” the oldest responded. It seemed perfectly normal, this plot I’d hatched with another Clay fan that lived a few hours away in north central Illinois.
It was the first mom-away vacation I’d had in two years, arranging to see Clay in concert at both the Illinois State Fair Aug. 13 and the Indiana State Fair Aug. 16. I returned home for a day between.
What wasn’t revealed was that I’d be rooming with fellow Claymaniacs I had never met in person before. Oh, I had talked to them on the phone after forging a fan friendship first on the Internet, through the Claymaniacs discussion forum, only a few months earlier. I wasn’t worried a bit, but realized how it could seem a tad reckless, especially to a couple of kids who had last seen sensible mom leave for a weekend away with her two sisters.
I could explain that these people are kind, thoughtful, warm, strong women I met while chatting about the “American Idol” Season 2 runner-up, but it’s doubtful they’d understand. How could they “get it,” that we had formed a special bond online, talking not just about Clay’s television appearances and music videos, but also about our lives – our jobs, families, dreams, setbacks and secrets?
We had all been touched by an adorable talented singer whose life story resonated with us in different ways, and who had inspired us to get out of our comfort zone, to do more with our lives, and yes, to examine the life we were leading. We started making changes, motivated to be better people—whether it was to volunteer, work on ourselves, or make a difference in some way.
Surprisingly, we had also made sincere, genuine friendships that some of those close to us found odd – until they had a chance to meet these people themselves. As one woman put it, “and learn that you’re not an axe murderer.” True, people have to be cautious with meeting people on the Internet, but it wasn’t an online dating service either.
These were Clay Aiken fans, women ranging in age from teens to seniors, from various backgrounds and walks of life.
And the Clay Aiken fans I’ve met have warm, sunny personalities with a quick laugh and a sharp wit. They give hugs easily and smile often. Some are shy, but they’ve been coaxed out of their shell. They perform random acts of kindness without any need for praise.
We are not crazy, extremists – I bristle at those depictions. For me, being a Clay fan is all in good fun. It’s all about respect and admiration. We are passionate, we are defensive, and we are protective.
Everyone has busy lives, but something has drawn us all together. Some people don’t have anyone in their immediate circle to share their enthusiasm for Mr. Aiken. All we want is to share the love of “OMC” (Our Man Clay) with fellow fans and to have a good time. Seeing Clay live induces a condition some refer to as a “Claying” or “Clayover.” It is indeed a natural high, one that fans want to spread.
In fact, some concertgoers wouldn’t even be able to see Clay were it not for others.
A woman who was wheelchair-bound for a concert in Hamburg, N.Y., was unable to view Clay because of where the handicapped seating was located at the venue. She shared her ordeal online and is now being treated to not one, but two, upcoming concerts by a retired online “board” friend from Florida who snapped up a pair of front row tickets on e-Bay, then made all the travel and lodging reservations.
When I acknowledged what a magnanimous gesture that benefactor’s gift was in a private note, she wrote back, “We do what we can, straight from the heart.”
An all-expenses paid overnight trip was arranged for another woman with limited means so she could see Clay live for the first time. “You girls didn’t let me pay for anything!” she told them, noting that some of her best friends had not treated her with such kindness in her lifetime. A woman who recently lost her job didn’t think she could attend the concert she had planned to see, but thanks to someone online, she won’t miss it.
Claying It Forward.
It is a real thing. Fans are booking hotel rooms and not seeking payment from those who are struggling, for they just want the person to be able to experience Clay live. They are treating to meals, helping out with transportation, helping to cover expenses.
The mantra: You must see Clay live.
He is so much better live than on his album. You can see how much he’s grown into a self-assured performer and observe how his warm down-home Southern charm demeanor comes across on stage. You’ll be able to hear his high-pitched giggle, hear the growl in “I Survived You,” hear him joke with his talented trio of back-up singers and band, and hear him hold his ‘glory notes’ longer and longer. You’ll be able to view a tug or two on “Invisible” while you sing along at his invitation, be moved by “You Were There,” and get all fan-girly, shouting and screaming. It’s all about this easygoing 25-year-old tall, thin, spiky-haired guy with a powerful set of pipes who is such a natural entertainer. He is the subject of at least a dozen websites with devoted fans, whether they are Claymates, Claymaniacs or Clayboard posters. There’s Red Hot Topic, The Clay Report, The Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken, Claygirls, The People’s Republic of Clay, the Clackhouse and more.
But most of all, you will be among friends. Your new family. Your new Band of Brothers, a sisterhood that’s been inexplicably formed over an Opie Taylor look-a-like from Raleigh, N.C., who drew you in on “American Idol” and can’t get out of your head or CD player. There are a couple guys, too, who have become buddies with us mother hens.
It doesn’t even matter if you show up to the concert alone. You will soon find your tribe. Fans who have purchased just one ticket travel by themselves knowing that they won’t be lonely at all. They have the option of attending pre-concert and post-concert parties, or just hooking up with fellow devotees at dinner or at the venue.
There’s no secret handshake. There’s no symbol. But you’ll know right away if you are in friendly territory. These people know that the imposing but lovable Jerome is Clay’s bodyguard. These people can recite the order of the set at both the state fair (shorter) and indoor (two 45-minutes with intermission). They’ve seen the downloads of the audience participation segments. They know whether Clay wore the red-striped shirt with matching tie or the aqua shirt the night before.
But, amazingly, when you meet anyone in Clay Nation, it’s like you’ve known them your entire life. It’s like running into someone you went to school with – you immediately have a history and have things to talk about: All things Clay Aiken.
“Getting together with other Claymaniacs is as fulfilling an experience as seeing Clay. He is the icing on the cake, not the other way around,” said one concertgoer. “I will never meet Clay Aiken, or get the hug I would like to get, or have my picture taken with him. But I DID meet wonderful people, got LOTS of hugs, had my picture taken with them, and walked away knowing I WILL see them again. It is a priority. I am overwhelmed with emotion thinking about it. Some show emotion more than others, but I bet we all feel the same thing…Friends of mine will never understand how this can happen with people who were once strangers, and just someone else who posted on the same website. But there is a true bond there. I love my new friends I have made, and I hope they feel the same.”
That was a quote from a 50-year-old mother of three whose husband did accompany her to one concert, and her daughter came to three. She is busy in her career in education and at her church. But she values her time spent checking up with her online friends.
A 16-year-old fan who became close with several people her mother’s age online was a little nervous about meeting the gals, but a quick cell phone call to give locations after a concert made getting together possible. “I gotta tell you, feeling a Claymaniac in your arms is more than I could imagine. They are all so beautiful. It felt good because after all that time we had spent talking online we finally got to see each other and get the hugs that I had been longing for…I really felt comfortable with these people. I would trust them with my life,” she wrote online. “It was an amazing moment, meeting these people. It was more than I could have asked for. Having them as friends online is even good enough, but this, this was so much better.”
A 29-year-old college student who struggles to make ends meet is going to her first Clay concert, traveling 13 hours by bus from Florida to Indiana to meet up with fans she met online. These fans have helped make this trip possible.
“I would receive private messages from my friends with prayers about me getting to go to a concert. The people who helped me asked not to reveal their names because they are not in this for praise, just an act of kindness, or as we know it to be ‘Clay It Forward’…I will not say what was done for me, but I want everyone to know that Clay would not only be proud of his fans, he might just cry same as I did,” she said, also noting she is sharing a room with a fan who has not asked her for anything in return.
“I want people to know that I never, and I do mean never, have I ever felt such love from friends…Not only am I proud to have such wonderful friends, I am proud that the love of a simple man named Clay Aiken brought us all together. I like to think that Clay would be proud also.”
Colleen, a 30-year-old science teacher to at-risk students, joined a website last October. “It didn’t take much time for me to meet great people that were also fans of Clay Aiken,” she said. She struck up a friendship with Renee, who was her age and lived in Detroit. They spent hours talking every night. When Independent Tour dates were announced, and her town, Houston, was not on it, she was devastated. But her Michigan friend came through.
“She offered to have me stay at her house…Renee greeted me with open arms and about 10 gifts! It was like Christmas Day! I left that weekend not knowing when we were going to meet again. I told my husband that this was a “once in a lifetime” opportunity to meet her.”
Well, then Clay came to Texas, and her husband wondered why she wasn’t going. “He actually talked me into trying to find a ticket the night before. I found one at
www.claytonaiken.com and it was e-mailed to me that night. Then I realized that I had to drive over six hours by myself and I had no place to stay afterwards. Not a problem. I PMed a few Claymaniacs that were going and asked if they wanted to ride with me. I picked them up on the way. Another friend, that I had never met, said that I could sleep in her hotel room with her for free,” she said.
She has helped people get to concerts as well, in keeping with the “Clay It Forward” philosophy that helped her get to one. So what is so special about seeing several concerts? She will have seen five total.
“You get to meet more Clay fans and hear that very special, soothing voice. The pre-concert and post-concert get-togethers are as much fun as the concert. I hope Clay knows how he has made people happy by given them such great friends,” she said.
I was trying to explain our camaraderie to a longtime friend, in fact one who joined me at the Independent Tour pairing of Clay and Kelly Clarkson.
“We don’t talk about Clay all the time when we’re together. That would be a little creepy,” I told her when she expressed concern. While Clay gets his due – it is after all, a fan website—we talk about kids, co-workers, ex-spouses, husbands, parents, our daily lives. We give encouragement to those suffering with ailments, heartaches or bad days. We cheer successful dieters, we applaud good deeds, and we celebrate people getting together for concerts. We cellcert those unable to be there. We send birthday greetings and buy more copies of “The Way/Solitaire” single so Clay can remain as the year’s top-seller.
We are a true community. It’s like a cyber-dormitory. We lift people up. It is one of the most unexpected yet fulfilling experiences of my year.
I struck up a conversation with a Clay-emblazoned concertgoer in Indy. Her name was Lillian, she lived in Baltimore, and it was her 57th birthday. She had been to 11 concerts so far, and had been to the tapings of “Good Morning, America,” “The Early Show” and a rehearsal for the PBS “A Capitol Fourth.”
Why follow Clay?
“It’s hard to put my finger on it,” she admitted. “I love his voice, I love the person he is.” She mentioned his philanthropy, his work with special-needs children, his endearing personality, his humility…the list continued.
But another comment struck a chord.
“I just feel like it is my time.” Whoa! I feel like that, too!
After 20 years of raising kids, the last nine as a single mom, I was ready for some ‘me’ time. After all, I had sat on bleachers watching Little League games for 10 straight summers, combed every toy store in several counties for a Ghostbusters firehouse and all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle available, stood in a mall line for hours so one preschooler could get a hug and his picture taken with one goofy purple dinosaur named Barney, ran out at 10 p.m. to buy a poster board for a science project.
For some of us, it’s now our time to enjoy being the fan of an unlikely celebrity. We are not ashamed or apologetic. We may not be “cool” but we don’t care.
It is our time to have fun, to bond, to be silly, to feel young again. To be able to listen to music that moves us, that touches our soul, that makes us feel…We have Clay Aiken to thank for that. And we have our new friends to cherish for what they’ve brought into our lives.
Thank you for letting us be ourselves, Clay. And we carry each other, taking to heart the lyrics to “I Will Carry You.”
"When your world breaks down
And the voices tell you turn around
When your dreams give out
I will carry you, carry you….
You should know now that you’re not alone….
......You will find your way home.”We have found a home, here on the web, and in our hearts.
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Lynn Venhaus is managing editor of two weekly newspapers in southwestern Illinois and a freelance writer. She lives near St. Louis with her two teenage sons. Her passions are music, movies, theater and the St. Louis Cardinals. She has seen Clay Aiken in concert three times, and hopes to see him live again with her new Clay-fan friends someday. She plans to meet even more friends and Clay fans (including some Cubs fans!) at a planned Claymaniacs Social in Charlotte, N.C., next April. Write to Lynn at lzvenhaus@aol.comCopyright 2004 Lynn Venhaus. Printed with the permission of the writer.
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