OCD SUPPORT GROUP - SESSION 1

[woodstock854]

Welcome, everyone to the very first meeting of the "OCD Support Group". (Obsessive Clay Disorder)

I am shy, so I walk slowly into the room and find a seat in the back. The meeting begins and there is a room full of claymaniacs. It is very quiet. I raise my hand very slowly. Pamela notices and asks, " Do you have something to share?" My knees are shaking, but I am able to finally get the words out.
"Hi. My name is Woodstock. And I suffer from OCD." The room erupts with applause. I hear so many things around me..."Welcome, Woodstock, what a great step to admit that!" "I do, too..." "We're all with you..."
And I know immediately that I have come to the right place.

We all talk about it, and joke about it, but this can be a serious subject,too. I love Clay, but quite honestly, I have worried about why I spend SO much time listening to him, downloading everything..talking about him on-line , taping EVERY TV show . And more than anything, simply thinking about him night and day. He enters my thoughts in the middle of just about everything! What is going on???
I am a 50-year-old (yikes) wife and mother of three children aged 18, 21 and 23. I have a career and am involved in many things. Then somehow, Clay has entered the picture and I fear he has taken over more of my life than I care to admit.

I realized awhile back that I suffered from OCD. But it was hard to admit to anyone. My 18-year-old son kept telling me that I was obsessed, and after awhile, I began to think he was right.  And I spent night and day wondering what was wrong with me. Why are my thoughts going to Clay in the middle of a a school lesson or a church sermon? Why can't I wait to get home and turn on a Clay CD or check out claymaniacs.com to get new info on Clay? If Clay was going to be on a TV station that I didn't get, I HAD to find someone to tape it for me.  I was beginning to think I was losing my mind. REALLY!!!

Then I found claymaniacs. It has been wonderful for me to talk to you. The more I got to know you guys, the more I was able to let it all hang out. And what did I learn? I'm NOT the only one. There is something about this guy that grabs you and wraps around your heart, and you're hooked. You are NOT going crazy, I have come to learn after talking to so many of you. I get pms and e-mails from people after I have posted something I couldn't admit anywhere else, and I realize I'm not alone! And it has been a great comfort to me. It took a little while, but I now know that I'm OK. And I feel much better. Now, I am enjoying Clay SO MUCH MORE, because I am not worrying about myself.

Let me make this perfectly clear: I am not over my OCD! I still think about Clay all the time (24/7?) and listen to him sing(OMG) constantly, and download, and chat about him. But I no longer worry that there is something wrong with me. I know I am not alone. There is something so very special about this man. He is the whole package. Because I was able to feel better after admitting things to you guys here, I decided that this is a thread that is needed here. Here is your place to vent. Admit your feelings, or confess something that you have thought or done. It is our hope that by doing that, you will find out that it's OK and you will stop worrying about yourself, and now be able to enjoy Clay even more.  I hope this is a place everyone can come back to as needed.

Rules, rules, rules.... Everyone must promise to be kind, respectful, non-judgemental, and supportive. (Easy for claymaniacs.) Again, this is your place to get something off your chest, or just admit your OCD and accept it. So, let the discussions begin!
Just for fun, if you join in the conversation, you then become an official charter member of the OCD Support Group, and can add that to your signature if you wish. I look forward to each and every one of your posts.
Woodstsock  :D  
P.S. Please feel free to pm me.

[Her]

(Woodstock, great idea!)

---as I shuffle in, very tentatively and wonder should I be here? But as I listen to others, I know I'm in the right place---

Then I found claymaniacs. It has been wonderful for me to talk to you. The more I got to know you guys, the more I was able to let it all hang out. And what did I learn? I'm NOT the only one. There is something about this guy that grabs you and wraps around your heart, and you're hooked.

You have expressed my feelings so perfectly!  After seeing Clay in Miami, which it's been almost 2 months, I found myself sad at times knowing I didn't know when I'd get to see him again live.  The reviews and downloads from the other venues help, but as the saying goes, "There's nothing like the real thing baby!"

In addition to being a part of this wonderful "home" of ours, I've found that I enjoy making videos of Clay and that has been helping as well.  i even wrote a poem in Express Yourself under Got Clay.  I play Solitaire over and over again on my way to and from work every day.  I switch it up with MOAM and listen to the local station which usually plays Clay on my way into work.

Fingers are crossed for a confirmed date in Florida. PEHLEEEZE---

[oregonclayfan]

OMG I am soooooo obsessed with Clay. Im sure he would be "frightened" of hearing that. But I think of him all my waking hours. I can not stop. He is on my mind every second of every day. The scary thing is I am 41 years old, married with 4 kids. Anyone else like me.
Some days its really frighteneing!! I would love to be close to him such as a friend. Wish I had known him a long time ago. He seems so perfect.
I also have "other" thoughts of him. (Sorry Clay, sorry hubby!?)  :oops:

[woodstock854]

Welcome, Her and oregonclayfan, to the first ever meeting!  So glad you snuck in!  
Her- yep, you know you're in the right place.  I also love Solitaire and play it many times a day.  I often go to bed listening to it with my headphones on.  I just make sure my husband is asleep first!  You hear Clay on the radio???  You lucky girl!!!
oregonclayfan,  Hey, honey, that's why we're all here.  We all have these same feelings.  You know, I have wished I could be Clay's friend, too.  I really have a lot in common with him.  I work with Special Ed kids, I am a Christian, and I do a lot of volunteer work.  A perfect girl for Clay, huh?  Except that I'm TWICE his age.  But it doesn't stop us from thinking about him.  The more I've shared here, the better I've felt.  You've come to the right place!
Woodstock :D

[TakenByClay]

I walk into the room and  quickly find a spare seat. There isn't many so it takes me about a minute or so. I finally raise my and and Woodstock says "Yes?" I reply back "Hey everyone. I'm Brittany and I have OCD." Every smiles at me. I feel more comfortable and I sit back down.

I love Clay so much. I'm 14 and I was experimenting with drinking and I was a cutter and then I went to a concert called Jingle Bell Bash 6 in Tacoma, Washington. My friend said as we waited in line for the bathroom "OMG BRITTANY! CLAY IS NEXT! I CAN HOLD IT! C'MON!" And she grabs my wrist and drags me back to my seat. The man she called Clay walked out on stage and began to sing. I feel in love with him instantly. I could feel the passion he had when he sang a unfamiliar song called "Invisible". I joined my friend as we jumped and screamed. When the concert was over, she told me that he was the runner-up for American Idol and that he was from Raleigh, North Carolina. She also told me that he was going to be a special education teacher. I respected that because I was going to be mentally and physically disabled when I was born.  But I turned out happy and heathly.

I asked for Clay's CD for Christmas and I got it. I was so excited! I listened to that CD for hours on end. Then, I began buying EVERY magizine that even said the words "Clay Aiken" on the front, i bought. I realized how important my life was so I stopped drinking and I stopped being a cutter. Ever since then, I've been in love with Clay! I have pictures of him on my binder. I still sometimes get made fun of, but I don't care. "Shake those haters off Brittany!" my friend, she loves Clay just as much as I do, always says. I've been getting better grades in school and over-all life is just better for me because of Clay. I hope that someday I can share my story with him!!

[ydebi]

Takenbyclay,
  How  great that Clay came along and made you see that life is good.  Also be thankful for your friend............she is a real friend.......debi

[woodstock854]

TakenByClay,
What a great story.  Thanks for joining in.  You hang in there, girl!!!
You may never meet Clay, but I think he would be happy to hear your story.  You can send him a letter:

Want to drop a line to Clay? Send your letter to:
Clay Aiken Official Fan Club
PO Box 90217
Raleigh, NC 27675

Hope to see you at OCD Support Group meetings regularly.  :
Woodstock :D

[Jeannette]

I too think of him 24/7, and it's so comforting to know that I'm not alone.  But I don't worry about it any more.  You said "he grabs your heart and you're hooked".   I expect to remain hooked forever.  The wonderful thing is the good things that the OCD has done to my life.  It has kind of "turned on the light", I'm more positive, more open to others, more wanting to be giving to others than I was before.  I would never want to go back to my life the way it was before.  

   I know it's time-consuming, being on the computer, going out looking for all the magazines, recording every time OMC is on TV.  But I've just tried to be more organized, and eliminate some of the useless stuff I was doing before.

    And being a claymaniac and being able to talk to all the wonderful people here is one of the best things about OCD.  I don't want to be cured!

[woodstock854]

I SWEAR this will be my last post of the night.... gotta get some zzzzzzzzzzs one of these nights...

Jeannette, that is what this thread is all about.  To be comforted that you are not alone.  I, too, hope to remain "hooked" forever.  Because it feels GREAT!!!  I don't want to be cured of my OCD either.  I'm just glad to know I'm OK and not alone.
Woodstock :D

[cpnina]

I am thrilled to have a group that I can talk to....I am 53, married, and OBSESSED with him!! If I had Internet at home I know I'd be here all the time, and, like  at work, my PC desktop would be covered with shortcuts with "Clay_____" like my work PC is. My C Drive would be crowded as well. First thing I do after looking at e-mail is go to Claymaniacs.com to see what's up. As a matter of fact, I have a work site that is accessed through Internet Explorer, and I access it through www.claymaniacs instead, which connects me to IE anyway.
The main music I listen to is Clay's. "Solitaire" every morning. Or my downloads.

If I wasn't larger than the sizes of his t-shirts I would have nothing in my closet but Clay. (On a SHIRT, not him!!)  Although.... :

So it's nice to have a place where others UNDERSTAND...

[lorilovesgolf]

Yes, I admit I have a really bad case of OCD - but please, I DON'T WANT TO BE ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY!!!

[Pamela]

There is something about this guy that grabs you and wraps around your heart, and you're hooked.

And there you go.  Nice job woodstock, thanks for the thread.

You know what?  Listening to MoaM all the time, buying magazines, posting on a forum, going to concert(s)!  Nothing wrong with that.
Voting in polls, requesting Clay on the radio, downloading and collecting...
nothing wrong with that either.  

Being inspired, mentally as well as physically 8) because of Clay?  What could be wrong with that?  Being happier, being kinder in thought and deed, wanting to be a better person, because of Clay?  I'll bet he would be honored to know that.  

Caring about something, someone, rather than ourselves for a change?
That's a fantastic feeling, isn't it?

I have a story too, but I'll tell it later.  Yours are all much more interesting anyway.  

I'm going to sticky this thread so it will be easy to find, and it will be here whenever anyone feels compelled to share.

[shaikeninseattle]

Beautifully said, Pamela.  :D

[Pamela]

OMG I am soooooo obsessed with Clay. Im sure he would be "frightened" of hearing that.

Most likely he would only be frightened if you actually 'acted' obsessed.  
:  So please don't.  :  We really don't want to scare him, do we?

If people chased you in your car, shoved pens and papers at you for an autograph or followed you around a grocery store, wouldn't it creep you out just a little bit?  If every time you walked into a room there was an audible GASP and you knew everyone was staring at you, wouldn't it make you feel kind of weird? Especially if you weren't used to it.    

I would love to be close to him such as a friend. Wish I had known him a long time ago. He seems so perfect.

He isn't perfect.  Don't get mad at me, he said so himself!  

(He is a man after all.  I'll bet he throws his dirty clothes on the floor and leaves dishes in the sink.  I'll bet he can't find a thing in his own house. And you just know he must channel surf incessantly.  How irritating.  : )

[Gwyneth]

Hi, Gwyneth here.  Sigh. I'd been browsing the AI sites for a while.  I'd read all the articles, dowloaded all the downloads, and still wasn't satisfied.  Till there was something called Claymaniacs.

Now I'm (eek) 57, I feel 35, I'm happily married, with a pretty good career, but when I realized, 'This kid makes me happy,' I guess you'd say I could diagnose a mild case of OCD.  Hubby likes him too - quite a lot - but maybe I'm talking about those 'from success to success' things just a teeny bit too much.  (Hard to write with a purring Siamese who has Mummy Disorder wanting attention.)  I've noticed the hubby who liked him is frowning a bit.  Oh, dear. (Thank goodness he's fair.)

I don't consider myself a fanatic.  I can't even get to a concert (except for the hope raised by a tantalizing hint on YTV the other night - something about coming into Canada)?  Wheelies with ANY sense can't camp out, you know.  But re that hint?  Halifax Metro holds close on 10,000.  Hmm, such dreaming could lead to self-diagnosis.

Sigh.  There is clearly a CD.  If it's an OCD.  Shudder.  HELP someone.  There's no doctor for such a problem!!!  Maybe the Siamese, who's a wise old dear, might have some hints.  SOOT!  Mummy needs you.  Gwyn

[Pamela]

.....I've found that I enjoy making videos of Clay and that has been helping as well.  i even wrote a poem in Express Yourself under Got Clay.

Clay inspires a creative spirit!

I realized how important my life was so I stopped drinking and I stopped being a cutter. Ever since then, I've been in love with Clay! ....I've been getting better grades in school and over-all life is just better for me because of Clay. I hope that someday I can share my story with him!!

Clay inspires us to care about ourselves and to take better care of ourselves.  TakenByClay - I am very proud of you, and you should be very proud of yourself too.

The wonderful thing is the good things that the OCD has done to my life.  It has kind of "turned on the light", I'm more positive, more open to others, more wanting to be giving to others than I was before.  I would never want to go back to my life the way it was before.

Clay inspires us to evolve and become involved with others in a more meaningful way.

Perhaps listening, and voting, and requesting, and buying, and watching are all our way of saying thank you back to him.

[oregonclayfan]

Clay fans are the best. They all seem to feel the same way about Clay, no matter what their age. He is THE BEST!!

[Pepe]

Woodstock you are precious.  I totally relate to you.  Now that the concert series is over I think what am I going to do I can't check to see what the Claymaniacs said about the concert or how Clay sounded or acted.  I am getting withdrawal symptoms.  I watch him perform on American Idol every day singing Solitaire and than I play the three CD's I have but that just doesn't seem enough.  I need to hear from people that have had personal contact with him.  I may have missed it but what happened to the banner that was supposed to follow him around, did Clay get it?  I will be proud to sign my emails with the OCD Support Group logo.   :P

[woodstock854]

I am thrilled to have a group that I can talk to....

So it's nice to have a place where others UNDERSTAND...

That's what this is all about!  We all know how you feel.  This is a place you can come and say things that you may not be able to say somewhere else.  I'm glad you're here.

Yes, I admit I have a really bad case of OCD - but please, I DON'T WANT TO BE ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY!!!

Hi, Lori!  I don't want to recover either.  But I am glad to have somewhere to share.  And I want those who are still worried about their OCD to come here and feel better.  If you're still in the "What's wrong with me?" stage, then you've come to the right place.  You better hang out here some.  And Lori, I think you're the first one to add OCD Support Group to your signature!  Way to go, girl!  Thanks.

I have a story too, but I'll tell it later.  Yours are all much more interesting anyway.  

I'm going to sticky this thread so it will be easy to find, and it will be here whenever anyone feels compelled to share.

Pamela, we'd love to hear your story, too.  All stories are equally interesting as they are unique to each of us.  Thanks for making this a Sticky.  I hope lots of people will come here whenever they need to.  And as always, thanks for all you do here. :D

All others I've missed, thanks for being a part of the beginning of this thread, and I hope you will all be here to support all of those who join in our discussions.  

Woodstock you are precious.  I totally relate to you.   I will be proud to sign my emails with the OCD Support Group logo.   :P

Thanks so much, Pepe!!! It is ALWAYS good to share Clay!!!!
Love,
Woodstock :D

[Glory]

I am so happy I found I thought I was losing my mind before I found you all nobody in my house understand,or is willing to listen to me about Clay. I am so glad we all differ in our opinions it make life interesting,The one thing we do not differ on is our love and devotion for is Clay. Glory note.