THE SOAP BOX - GET YOUR RANT ON!

[Pamela]

This is the Soap Box thread.  Feel free to vent, rant or wax philosophical here. This is a place for expressing yourself.  Readers, you should reply with your own opinions, but there's no need trying to change people's minds....commiserate yes!  Argue no!  Pissed off about something? Express yourself!  In a nice way of course.  
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BEING A FAN

A single subject arises again and again whenever there is more than one Clay fan in a room or on an Internet discussion forum.  “What in the world happened to me?” or “I think I’ve gone crazy!” or “I can’t explain it.”  

I know; me too, to a degree. Even now I continue to be fascinated by this ‘fandom’ and all it entails.  Personally, I’ve never been a fan of a real live person, except maybe my Grandma, who was outstanding in all ways.  I have been a fan of sports teams, (Go Hurricanes! Wolfpack!  TN Volunteers!), TV shows, 1956 Ford Thunderbirds and chocolate.  But I’ve never been a fan of a pop singer, or any other kind of singer.  

I have certainly enjoyed and supported many singers and bands over the years, but this is different.  I have lots of theories about why it’s different, but that’s another dissertation.   I do consider myself to be a ‘normal’ fan though.  I’m too laid back to paint my face, or wear silly headgear, or do something wild to win backstage passes to a concert. I would never make a sign, or chase a limo or even bug someone I may know who knows Clay.  I’ll probably never meet Clay, and I’m fine with that.  

There are some scary fans out there.  Soon, Clay will not be able to make eye contact with anyone when he sings, because the meaning of that touching gesture will be misconstrued by some delusional fanatic.  

Some fans feel a strange sense of entitlement to him; with huge expectations attached.  These seemingly avid supporters are always the first to turn when things don’t always go as they expect. There are fans that seriously think they could be his best friend; his soul mate, and even more. I’m pretty sure he already has lots of loyal friends, a large supportive family and a good management team; he doesn’t need us for any of those roles.  He just needs us to be reasonable and supportive fans.

It’s the nature of the media to always focus on the most excessive of fans; the ones who tattoo themselves, travel around the world and across the country, some of whom make every effort to draw attention to themselves, as if these actions are proof of a more worthy love than the normal fan may provide.  But there are also thousands of us flying around under the radar who just want to have fun on the Net, hear Clay sing, buy his CDs and go to his concerts.  I can’t help but wonder how aware he is that we aren’t all loony birds.

The height of my own wackiness is that I am compelled to call TRL every day at 4:30 and vote for a song that isn’t even my favorite from the CD.  I am guilty of forsaking my duties at work in order to place online votes for the video.  I have been known to stealthily delete cookies and place multiple votes in silly online polls, such as ‘Whom would you most like to share a root canal with?’  Why, Clay Aiken of course.  He must win!  He must win every poll and every award and every contest of any kind he is ever a part of!  He must!  Win, win, win!

Sometimes I feel like we are hunting dogs in pursuit of the Fox of Success.  It’s as if only ongoing and constant success can give validation to this gifted young man who, when the voting system in place on AI failed to be able to handle the ginormous influx of telephone votes during one three hour period late last May, created The Anomaly, which caused hearts to break all across America.

Or is the validation we seek really for ourselves?  In order for us to not feel ‘guilty,’ or ‘crazy,’ or ‘obsessed,’ are we driven to insure that Clay becomes and remains a huge success so as to confirm our own tastes; and that our time and energy supporting him is being spent in a worthwhile manner?  Do we want Clay to win everything because we were unable to deliver the one big prize, the AI title?  Is it just because he, like anyone else, deserves an opportunity to achieve his goals and dreams?  Or is it because he has taken so much undeserved harsh criticism from critics, other artists, radio jocks, comedians and practically everyone else, and we are compelled to defend him and protect him from all the meanies?

Sometimes we may think we’re the only ones on this train, but if you consider that the Internet community of Clay fans may be 10,000 strong and yet over two million CDs have been sold, it’s very evident that it’s not just us who support Clay.  It’s more than just the more ‘enthusiastic’ and ‘creative’ fans that get all the attention that are helping to make his dreams come true.

Clay has mentioned over and over that he doesn’t understand why we love him. It’s pretty simple really.  

Clay, you make us feel good.  

What we know about Clay makes us feel good about him as well as ourselves. People like to feel good.  He earned our respect with his warm and passionate voice and our admiration as he worked through the AI competition.  He handles adversity with grace and faces a challenge with hard work and determination.  He wants to help children.  What's not to love?

I only hope that someday soon he’ll be able to say ‘my fans’ instead of ‘the fans.’   Because we are his, for now and always.

[perfectmatch]

Very nicely writen Pamela I think you've said just about everything there is to be said about all the different fans of Clay we are all alike yet different and I guess thats what keeps us together and keeps Clay up. I hate to say it but Im not as crazy as the tatooing, but I would make signs and do crazy things for tickets yet if I ever do meet him I want to be as reserved as possible I think he deserves that.

A side note....... I think it would be a fun thing to keep in touch with him and be a friend of his if I got the chance. I currently have a good friend who is famous here in southern california, we hang out a lot even though its a major age difference, Im friends with his kids and he is fun to be around. So it wouldn't be strange to me actually kinda fun because he is just a person like anyone else and deserves good friends because he is so generous himself........

stepping off the soap box, only a teeny one  :)

[claylady]

Pamela, as always very well written and very interesting.  When I was younger I was a fan of many artists ranging from the Beatles to (don't laugh) the Monkees but it was never like this.  I'm not one of those either for the face paint or the signs.  I just want to see Clay and enjoy him.  If I were ever to meet him, I wouldn't bother him because the paramedics would be working on me.  Maybe he could sing to me in the hospital.  
Oh and by the way, Pamela I'm printing your article to give to a friend of mine so she can understand all of this a little better. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Goodmorning everyone!  Not officially a member yet but soon to be I have realized what a classy site this is.  Pam you did say it all.  I really think that bottom line about Clay is that he makes us feel "Good."  We all want that for sure.  Anyone that can continually makes us feel good and gets better and better, we will support to the end.  Hopefully that will be a long time coming.  As a single 53 year old fan, he does that for me everyday I wake up and think about him.  In this crazy world, we all need to feel "Good."  Thank you Clay.........


Lorraine in Connecticut
Clay's number 1 Fan

[aeleon9995]

Pamela..that was such a nice article you wrote...i feel the same way you do...my husband seems to think that it is his cinderella story that entices so many people.....i didn't tell him it is the bedroom eyes....along with the voice of course :D

[cjrmax]

What a good and insightful article.  As I have mentioned in previous posts, when I was very young I fell madly in love with George Harrison of the Beatles.  As odd as it may seem, in many way, he and Clay are similar.  Both experienced success at a young age (although George was several years younger), both were/are quiet, unassuming men who didn't seem to crave the limelight, both were/are very spiritual, charitable men.... I could go on but I won't.  George was my musical obsession from the age of 9 to today, even though he died too young 2 years ago. He has been the ONLY obsession I have ever had - until Clay. And like so many others, I have no idea why!  I was 9 when I fell in love with George.  He was part of the biggest group in music history.  You were supposed to love a Beatle!  And even though George was not the most popular Beatle, he was still a Beatle!  The fact that my obsession never waned in the 30 plus years after the Beatles broke up is a testimony to how deep seated my obsession was!  I often wonder if my obsession with Clay can last that long (assuming he's still making music in 30 years!).  Of course, I will be a lot older then......

I do consider myself to be a ‘normal’ fan though. I’m too laid back to paint my face, or wear silly headgear, or do something wild to win backstage passes to a concert. I would never make a sign, or chase a limo or even bug someone I may know who knows Clay. So, I guess I’ll never get to meet him, and I’m fine with that.

Me too, Pamela!  Even when I saw George in concert for the first and only time in 1974 I was normal!  I didn't scream or anything!  I suspect the same will be true when I see Clay!

The height of my own wackiness is that I am compelled to call TRL every day at 4:30 and vote for a song that isn’t even my favorite from the CD. I am guilty of forsaking my duties at work in order to place online votes for the video. I have been known to stealthily delete cookies and place multiple votes in silly online polls, such as ‘Whom would you most like to share a root canal with?’ Why, Clay Aiken of course. He must win! He must win every poll and every award and every contest of any kind he is ever a part of! He must! Win, win, win!

I so agree with this.  TRL? I had never HEARD of it before Clay!  Now I have the phone number memorized and curse work when it interfers with my ability to call at 4:30pm every day!  And some of the polls I work so hard for him to win are so silly, but, as you said HE MUST WIN!!!

Or is the validation we seek really for ourselves? In order for us to not feel ‘guilty,’ or ‘crazy,’ or ‘obsessed,’ are we driven to insure that Clay becomes and remains a huge success so as to confirm our own tastes; and that our time and energy supporting him is being spent in a worthwhile manner? Do we want Clay to win everything because we were unable to deliver the one big prize, the AI title? Is it just because he, like anyone else, deserves an opportunity to achieve his goals and dreams? Or is it because he has taken so much undeserved harsh criticism from critics, other artists, radio jocks, comedians and practically everyone else, and we are compelled to defend him and protect him from all the meanies?

I think its all of the above!

When I read the Washington Post "Ins and Outs for 2004" and they said Clay was "out" at first I got angry and indignant.  Then I thought, I thought he was never "in"!  I mean, the media has treated Clay like he was never cool.  There are so many closet Clay fans out there who seem to be afraid to admit they love Clay because he's not "cool". Radio stations hesitate to play his music because of the perception he's not "cool".  So if he was never "in", how could he be "out"?  Personally, I think the list was compiled by a man whose wife/girlfriend is obsessed by Clay and is jealous so he wants him to be out. But regardless, in an odd way, just making this list was a sign of how "in" he is!  Can we bet that the Washington Post will get many e-mails and letters protesting this list? And then ALL Clay's fans will be labelled as crazy - again.

I don't know why I love Clay but, as with George Harrison before him (and still), I don't ask why. I just do and am happy for it!  And no matter what the Washington Post said, I think 2004 will be a really BIG year for Clay.  It will be harder for him to stay in the limelight without an album coming out or without AI2, but he's taking off and I for one don't think he can be stopped!

[Invisible Touch]

Well said Pamela!

I consider myself a normal fan and I do sometimes feel bad that there are people out there who feel like they must monopolize his time any chance they get.  I am hoping that his graduation cerimony was a sign that people are being more respectful.  I was very happy that he was able to celebrate that wonderful accomplishment without it turning into a circus.  

I, too, have never been a "fan" of a celebrity before.  I am not sure what it is about him.  Maybe it is that every step of the way, he stays true to himself.  He seems like a normal guy.  And he truly has a fantastic voice that just draws you in, sometimes to the point of tears.  

I think that as fans we need to practice the golden rule and think about how we would like to be treated if it were us.  As much as we love him and want to see him and know things about him, he deserves his privacy too!

[Pamela]

Thanks for your perspectives!  As you can see, I went on some kind of bender and was writing in the wee hours, sooo...  I certainly didn't mean to imply that signs or face painting or even tattooing was 'wrong,' just that it wasn't my thing.  :

I was inspired by the fans in the AI tour special.  They were doing their thing, dawg!  Besides, if I ever did meet Clay I'd probably just trip over something and fall down go boom.  Or something else as ridiculous.  :

Hey, those kinds of things happen to me.  Once I had to give a presentation to a group of people and my pants were unzipped the entire time.  Hello!  :mrgreen:

[huckleberry]

Wow Pamela, you cerainly have a way with words!!  Very well said, as usual!!  You just seem to have a way to take something that might make the most sense and make it PERFECTLY sensible!!  Very thought-provoking!  Thank you! (and I agree with all that you said!)  Again, the voice of reason... :)

[lls in CT]

Pam,

The is the best article anyone could have read for the beginning of 2004.
We do fit in the category of the fans that love to go into the net, read good things about Clay, buy his CD's, vote for him and support him in anyway we can. We are also the people who accept Clay as a person, not just a star.  We love what and who he stands for.  If his stardom should fade this year, he will be a wonderful memory in our lives; never to be forgotten that a wonderful guy from Raleigh, NC, touched our hearts with his music, his eagerness to please, his forgiveness to others, his integrity, a little attitude (which is good) and most importantly, his love and appreciation for his fans.  I do think he can say "my fans" and believe it.  I can only imagine the outburst of cheers and cries of fans across the country when he starts his tour!  I can't wait!  It is the best thing I can think of for the new year.

[Jan]

Yes, Pamela

You said it so right. You really have agreat way with words. I agree with you completely.

Although I occassionally go off the edge once in awhile . I am not a screaming, sign carrying type of person. And I think it is wonderful that some of the fans are reacting to Clay and his talents.that way.
 I just want to hear him sing, see his video, watch him rise to the top and hopefully he will in 2004, in spite of the Post article.

I am tired of the loud music that you cannot understand, the gyrating ,almost dressed people on the stage, the costumes, the innuendos in the lyrics.

 I think it is time for some real music in our life, people who can carry a tune!!!

When the Grammys come on, I will not watch them.
 Reading about the Grammys gives me a clue as to the type of music that will be intruding upon our ears and eyes. Something like what we saw on the Billboard Show.

Well, I got that off my chest.
We have to keep Clay on top with our love, our devotion, our votes and our wallets.

luv
Jan

[liney23]

Pamela, that was beautifully written.  Now, my two cents worth.

I do think we connected with Clay because there is just something magical about him.  He is smart, witty, loving, caring, giving, and that voice is from the heavens.  We watched him change before our very eyes.  Every week he just got better and better.  We invested in him emotionally, so he became ours.  He made himself so open to us and the more we found out the more we loved him.  

He represents the best a man can be, the best a human being can be.  We are sooo hungry for that, we just leapt all over him.  No, he's not perfect -- who the heck would want to be around a perfect person - yuck!  He is more fun because of his imperfections.

He is living the American Dream and because he is sooo deserving of it, we are cheering him on and supporting him fully.

We are obsessed because, as you said, he makes us feel good, but  also because he brings something into our lives that has been missing for awhile -- hope.  If there is one person in our world this good, maybe there are more -- maybe we can even be one of those more, and we are more accepting, more loving, more giving -- because we want to be a part of a future that contains that kind of more.  

He is our banner-carrier, our teacher, and he makes us feel things we have never felt before (or not often).  

What is happening here is phenomenal and we are a part of it.  That's another reason we are all obsessed.  Subconsciously, we recognize that we are witnessing something wild, something unique.  Who would not want to be a part of that.  

Yes, he makes me feel good!  It is also a hoot and brings me so much joy.  I have become addicted to that joy and I have no intention of giving it up anytime soon.  

His voice lifts my soul, his character lifts my spirit.  Long may he be in our lives!!!!!!!!!!!

[wisconsinmaniac]

Congratulations to Pamela for starting this post with thought provoking statements and feelings AND congratulations to all who posted their responses.    All of you are proof that this Forum is special because of the intelligent, thoughtful, caring and witty members.  (Having Clay in our lives sure hasn't hurt, either)!!!    As I read each entry, I was going to jump in to add something - but everything has been "well said".  

2004 WILL be the best Clay-filled year possible!

[sjmcdona]

Pam,

I too, want to commend you for your insightful, thought provoking comments. I have recently thought about my own "Clay obsession" as I have never followed an artist so closely before. I consider myself a "normal" fan, as I do not want to stalk him, marry him, or throw my undies onto the stage when he sings. However, every day I faithfully log onto this site and anxiously await Clay's next appearance. I have a new boyfriend who has witnessed my OMC fascination, and he has been very supportive of it. My initial explanation to my boyfriend on why I like Clay enlightened me on why I am such a Clay fanatic: Clay's heart and soul. From the moment I heard him sing his first note, I knew he was no ordinary singer. Though I love his voice, what has truly blessed me is the fact he is also no ordinary human being. Clay likes to stress that he is not perfect. Clay, we know you aren't perfect, but fans like me cannot help but fall in love with such a beautiful, giving spirit. I think you are amazing, a true american idol, and I am so very proud to be your fan.

Your biggest VT fan,

Sara

[ANGELA]

Pamela,
You could have not said it any better.
  I never went wild over any celebrity--ever. I may have appreciated other talent and enjoyed other singers or actors.   But this is very different, CLAY'S voice can put me in a better mood or get me out of not so good day mood.
I know this may sound sort of silly, but CLAY makes me want to be a better person and that is hard for me to comprehend since he is just 25 and I am 49.  What is it about him???---Besides having such a magical voice,and such a beautiful heartful of  compassion ---how can CLAY do that to me?  WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??????
I am not an out of control fan but I have to admit the 2 times I saw him in concert----I SCREAMED OUT CLAY EVERY TIME HE WENT ON STAGE ANOTHER THING UNLIKE ME..

THANKS PAMELA FOR THAT GREAT INSIGHT.


ANGELA

[GWENN]

PAMELA--

SO MUCH OF WHAT YOU SAID IS TRUE FOR ALL OF US.  I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY WE ALL ARE OBSESSED.  IS IT THE VOICE, THE EYES, THE SMILE, THE HEART, THE MIND?  ALL OF THE ABOVE AND MORE?  I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT, BUT I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT IT REALLY DOES  NOT MATTER WHY.  IT JUST IS.  CLAY IS SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON THAT HE MAKES PEOPLE FEEL GOOD AND LOVE HIM.  HE REPRESENTS EVERYTHING THAT IS POSITIVE IN A VERY NEGATIVE WORLD.  HE IS UPLIFTING TO THE SPIRIT.  THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE THAT TODAY WHO  I CAN THINK OF.

I WAS A BEATLE FAN.  PRETTY NORMAL, BUT DEFINITELY OBSESSED BY PAUL MC CARTNEY FROM THE FIRST TIME I SET EYES ON HIM.  BUT I WAS 14 THEN--AN AGE WHERE TEEN CRUSHES ARE NORMAL.    FUNNY HOW I LOVED HIM  THEN AND RESPECT HIM TODAY FOR MANY OF THE SAME REASONS I LOVE AND RESPECT CLAY.  

THIS IS DIFFERENT BECAUSE I AM NOT 14 AND I DON'T FEEL THAT SAME KIND OF CRUSH.  CLAY IS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR IN A SKANKY MUSIC BUSINESS.  IT IS A PLEASURE TO LIKE MUSIC AGAIN--NOT JUST OLDIES.

NO, I WILL NOT WATCH THE GRAMMY'S.  THAT IS MY ONLY WAY TO PROTEST WHAT I FEEL WAS UNFAIR.  I WILL WAIT NERVOUSLY TO SEE WHEN THE CONCERT TOUR WILL BEGIN AND I WILL GO--NO MATTER WHAT.  I WILL SUPPORT CLAY IN WHATEVER WAY I CAN BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT.  

BOTTOM LINE--HE MAKES PEOPLE FEEL GOOD.  PAMELA, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

[thanku_clay]

Pamela,
 All I can say is that you have my applause....standing ovation for all you just said!!!

What a great author you are!! You always put feelings into words so beautifully.

[claylady]

Pamela, I know I posted in this thread before but I just have to again.
Your article was just wonderful.  It made all of us think about why we have OCD.  
Sitting here reading everyones posts, I'm find myself getting all teary eyed.  It makes me feel good that there are others out there that feel the way I do about Clay and why we love him.

CLAY REPRESENTS A LIGHT IN A SOMETIMES DARK WORLD AND WE ARE ALL DRAWN TO THAT LIGHT.

[mrs. c.]

Pamela, Thank you so very much for putting so eloquently the feelings we all have for Clay here for all to see!!!  I too was a huge Beatle fan so yes I am also a woman in her 50's who often says why does this young man make me feel soooo giddy???!!!  I have loved his grace under pressure, his gentle spirit, and oh yes that truly amazing voice!!!  I live in Canada so getting radio and video play for him has been an even bigger challenge!I also can't wait for his tour, a group of nine of us went to Buffalo to see him in July, and will go again AMAZING!!!!!!!!

Mrs.C.

[Anonymous]

well said pamela. part of clay's appeal to me is also how good he makes me feel. i consider myself a" normal fan" who would't run after him if i saw him or paint my face ect. (although i think it's cool he has fans like that). however, on new year's eve i was at party which had the mtv bash on a big screen and when clay came out to sing the last song of the night i went right up to the tv and was singing along to his beautiful performance of "the way" and my friends told me i looked like a school girl and asked if i was ok because i also got a little teary eyed, that made me realize even more what a big fan i am of  clay and cannot recall ever doing anything close to that before.  i have liked many artist and have seen many artist live in concert some favs being journey, rod stewart, harry connick, elton john, and creed just to name a few. i cannot wait to see clay in concert i will definitely travel to see him. maybe i should not say i'm a normal fan maybe i should say i'm a normal claymaniac! the neatest thing i have found about this site (which i have frequented since clay was on nickelodeon) is that most everyone here truly wants the world to be a better place no wonder when it comes to clay we all get it.