AIKEN NEWS NETWORK DECEMBER 1ST

[Marilyn]

 FROM PINK ARMCHAIR AT CV:

CLAY AND KIMMEL: HAPPY 31ST BIRTHDAY, CLAY!

(Clay is lounging on the sofa in front of the television, wearing...well, wait and see. His iPhone rings. He sets aside the king-sized bowl of popcorn on his lap, grabs the remote and pauses CNN. Answers.)

Kimmel: Happy Birthday, buddy! Sorry I couldn’t stick around after Thanksgiving dinner for the inevitable indigestion. Some of us have a nightly television show to do, y’know.

Clay (cheerfully): Oh, fine. Rub it in, why don’tcha.

Kimmel: Sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyhow, it was a nice dinner. Who knew Krispy Kreme had a gingerbread crunch donut? Beats pumpkin pie any day.

Clay: Glad ya liked it. (snidely) You better stay away from thayre, though, or ya might have ta pay excess baggage fees on yore big bu--

Kimmel: Ahh, still with the insults. Some things never change. So, I’m still waiting for that picture. C’mon, cough it up.

Clay: Pitcher?

Kimmel: Yeah, of you and Parker wearing my presents. (wheedling) You promised.

Clay: Well, Ah know Ah did, but…Ah’m not shore Ah want that out thayre. Y'know the pitchers would wind up on TMZ, an' thayre goes any street cred Ah've got.

Kimmel: Street cred? You? Oh, right, as your alter ego -- that alternative rocker Bleeding Ear.

Clay (innocently): I have no ahdea what yore talkin' about.

Kimmel (shifting gears): Okay, level with me…you haven’t even tried 'em on, have you?

Clay (defensively): Shore Ah did! In fact, Ah’m wearin’ ‘em right now. An’ so is Parker, though everbody who sees us jest about kills themselves laughin.’ Especially Jaymes. Ah threatened ta git her a pair too an’ she said over her dead body.

Kimmel (wounded): What. I bet they’re cute as hell. Not everybody has matching father and son camouflage footy pajamas.

Clay: Yeah, rill cute -- we look like the Jolly Green Giant puked all over us. Thay’re comfortable, though…Ah’ll give ‘em that. Too bad they don’t have a drop seat. Ah’m thinkin’ o’ askin’ mah mom ta put one in.

Kimmel: On yours or Parker’s?

Clay (laughs): Mine. Parker’s still in diapers so he's on his own. And Ah’m shore glad they don’t have a zipper down the front – Ah kin jest see me fallin’ asleep in ‘em, an’ mah laptop overheatin,' an’…sssssssss…(shudders)

Kimmel (shuddering, too): Ewww. I get your drift. Like a hotfoot, only...ewww.

Clay: Anyhow, thanks. Ah hafta admit…Ah expected ya ta go overboard like ya always do, an’ Ah was a little relieved. It’s kinda hard ta keep up with that kinda thang, y’know.

Kimmel (slyly): Oh…speaking of “keeping up,” that wasn’t my only present.

Clay: It wasn’t? Oh, no. Tell me thayre isn’t some ornery animal crappin’ all over mah back yard agin. Coss rilly, Ah don—

Kimmel (dismissively): No, no, no. I'm pretty much done with the “animal gift” thing. Unless there’s a sale on large reptiles at Pet World -- then all bets are off. No, this is a lot better.

Clay: Okay…well, whayre is it?

Kimmel: I snuck a letter into your desk drawer when you weren’t looking.

Clay: A letter? From who? (getting up and walking toward the study)

Kimmel: Whom.

Clay (in the study now at the desk, looking in the drawer): Oh, whom, shoom. (finds the letter and examines it, perplexed) Jimmy…this has an ABC return address on it.

Kimmel (eagerly): Open it.

Clay (already has and is scanning it, his eyes getting bigger and bigger): HO. LEE. CRAP! You’ve gotta be kiddin!’ (incredulous and increasingly angry) “Dear Mr. Aiken: On behalf of ABC and the Walt Disney Company, we're delighted that you’ve agreed to join our newest roster of celebrity contestants on the upcoming season of one of ABC's most highly-rated programs...DANCING WITH THE STARS.” Ah’ve AGREED? What do they mean, AGREED? Ah didn't--

Kimmel: Hey, after we talked about it, I pulled a few strings. (magnanimously) No, don't thank me. It was my pleas--

Clay: Are ya CRAZY? Ah told ya ta talk to 'em about RUBEN, not me! Ah cain't do this!

Kimmel: Sure you can. And I checked with Rube -- he said you were just being modest about your dancing abilities and you'd love to do it! So--

Clay (furious): No! Ah don't believe it. Mah buddy Ruben knows me better 'n that. Y'know why? Coss he's mah RILL FRIEND. But YOU! In what universe did YOU think this is somethin' Ah'd be dyin' ta do? (starting to freak out, looking at the letter in disbelief) An' this says Ah AGREED? What does that mean? Huh? HUH?

Kimmel: Oh, there was a legal contract. You signed it.

Clay (indignantly): Ah never signed ANYTHANG! What--

Kimmel (airily): Oh, that's okay...I did. On your behalf. As a favor...because I know how busy you are.

(A moment of shocked silence, then...)

Clay (exploding): YOU DID WHAT?? ARE YOU OUTTA YORE COTTON PICKIN' MIND?? WHY DON'TCHA JEST SEND ME TA PRISON WHILE YORE AT IT? (pacing fretfully back and forth) Oh mah God. Ah'm toast! Ah'm gonna be stuck on thayre fer weeks. Mah amazin' fans'll make shore o' that, those sadists! Ah'll prolly win the whole ding-dang thang on mah two left BLOODY STUMPS, an' what am Ah gonna do with a danged mirror ball trophy!!! If the whole experience doesn't KILL me first. Oh, God! What--

Kimmel: Clay.

Clay (seething): You've rilly done it this time, Jimmy! Ah don't know what ta say. How'm Ah gonna--

Kimmel (patiently): Clay.

Clay (decisively): That's it -- Ah'm callin' mah lawyer. Thayre's gotta be a way outta this. Coss Ah never---

Kimmel (louder): CLAY.

Clay: WHAT?

Kimmel (stifling a laugh): Look at the letter again.

Clay: Why? All Ah see is a DEATH WARRANT.

Kimmel: Check out the signature.

Clay (looking at the letter again): What does...(reading) "Donald F. Duck."

(long silence)

Kimmel (giggling): Clay, are you still there? (more silence) Clay?

Clay (finally): DIRTBAG.

Kimmel (laughing harder): That was CLASSIC! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, but you--

Clay (coldly): Jest so ya know, Jimmy...Ah'm hirin' a hitman. An' Ah DON'T mean David Foster.

[Marilyn]

THIS WAS BROUGHT TO CV- I DON'T KNOW THE SOURCE, BUT THE FIRST PARAGRAPH AND THE LAST ONE ARE VERY INTERESTING:

Just for fun I thought I'd look up Clay's "If your birthday is today" horoscope:

If You Were Born Today, November 30: You have the ability to light up a room when you enter it. Others gravitate to you naturally because you are very easy to like. Your charm is multi-layered. One of its main ingredients is your versatility. You love people and can easily imitate others, and your many faces appeal to many! As multi-talented and multi-faceted as you are, you are also very shrewd and determined. While you may seem to have a finger in many pies, you are not scattered in focus. Bored easily, you need movement and activity in your life in order to keep stimulated. The good news is you are capable of creating it, and don't rely on others to entertain you. Famous people born today: Ben Stiller, Clay Aiken, Bo Jackson, Billy Idol, Dick Clark, Jonathan Swift, Mark Twain.

Your Birthday Year Forecast: Mercury in positive aspect to Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, and Chiron suggests that you are more inclined to put your ideas into action than usual. You are more convincing and/or enthusiastic in the expression of your ideas, opinions, and thoughts this year. You have a stronger ability to both learn and apply your understanding in constructive ways. You can effectively use words to soothe, heal, and teach this year. You are also more open to new ways of looking at problems, thus it's considerably easier to find solutions.Mercury also squares Uranus, and your energy with regards to mental pursuits may fluctuate a lot. However, you are also more able to find original solutions to problems.

Venus squares Neptune around the time of your birthday, pointing to ups and downs in your love life, or in your perception of your relationships, mainly due to too-high or unrealistic expectations. This influence pulls up some tensions in love revolving around how much you are giving, receiving, and accepting. Disappointments that might occur now come from unrealistic expectations. You'll be learning a lot about your hopes, wishes, and dreams when it comes to relationships, but the lessons might not always be easy. Because Venus is also in favorable aspect to Uranus, there is a lot to learn about giving others, and yourself, more freedom, with a potentially very positive outcome. However, do try to take off the rose-colored glasses when it comes to new financial initiatives and romance. If you don't, you could be in for some disappointment when things fail to measure up to your dreams and ideals. You are certainly coming alive, so to speak, this year, when it comes to expressing and receiving affection. You are likely to feel especially open to romantic feelings and experimentation, but you could also struggle with idealism and perhaps too high expectations. The blinders might be on! However, it's certainly a year of much experimentation, activity, and learning when it comes to love, the pursuit of pleasure, and social relationships.

Great enthusiasm is likely to be with you often this year, but you might sometimes overestimate your abilities. You may get fired up over opposing viewpoints. Errors in judgment made now are likely due to impulsiveness and the overlooking of crucial details. It will certainly be wise to keep your feet on the ground. Energy and mood fluctuations are expected to figure strongly in the year ahead. Conserve energy whenever you can.

Saturn is square to Pluto in your Solar Return chart. This suggests a need for you to come to terms with your own powers of authority and your effectiveness. Power struggles, frustration, and manipulation are possible themes this year. You may desire change, but feel blocked by others or by circumstances. Alternatively, you may be attempting to resist change that is inevitable. Persistence will pay off in the end, and the need to adjust your expectations becomes obvious.

Creative, mental, and social opportunities are strong; love may be a bit of a rollercoaster ride this year, but certainly exciting, exotic, and dynamic. Major restructuring of your life will help you to clear your head and to get your priorities straight. New and creative ideas abound--you are fairly bursting with them. You simply need to weed out what is worthwhile and what is unrealistic at this time in your life.

My favorite part:
2010 will be a Number Eight year for you. Ruled by Saturn. This is a year of power and accomplishment.  Actively seeking to expand, taking educated risks, and moving forward are highlighted. This is a year of opportunity, particularly in the material and business world, and opportunities need to be seized. It's generally not a year to find a new love partner, simply because the focus is on the material world and your place in the world. This is a problem-solving year in which you can expect real, tangible results. Advice - take action, plan ahead, seize opportunities

[Marilyn]

NICE IDOL WRITEUP FOR OUR MAN'S BIRTHDAY!!

November 30, 2009 | 12:11 pm PT
Happy Birthday, Clay Aiken!

Clay Aiken, the popular Season 2 runner-up, has done everything from releasing albums to touring to performing on Broadway to acting on TV. The 31-year-old Raleigh native’s more recent debut is becoming a father to son Parker.

After a successful run on American Idol’s second season, Clay was signed to RCA Records. He released five albums on the label, the multi-platinum debut album Measure of a Man in 2003, Merry Christmas with Love in 2004, A Thousand Different Ways in 2006, the 2006 EP All Is Well, and On My Way Here in 2008. On March 31, 2009, Clay released Playlist: The Very Best of Clay Aiken, a compilation of some of his greatest hits which included “Solitaire” and “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” songs that Clay sang as a contestant on American Idol.

Clay has launched eight tours and authored a New York Times best-selling book called Learning to Sing: Hearing the Music in Your Life. He’s also had a number of television appearances including the 2004 televised Christmas special A Clay Aiken Christmas which he also executive produced, Scrubs, Saturday Night Live, and 30 Rock. In January of 2008, Clay made his Broadway debut as Sir Robin in Monty Python’s Spamalot. We caught up exclusively with Clay in 2008 to learn more about his role in Spamalot. Read the interview.

Before becoming an American Idol superstar, Clay tutored a child with autism. Due to his passion to help children with autism, Clay co-founded the National Inclusion Project in 2003 with the mother of the boy he tutored. In 2004, Clay was appointed to National Ambassador for the U.S. Fund for UNICEF, and in 2006 he was appointed for a two-year term to the Presidential Committee for People with Intellectual Disabilities. UNICEF has sent Clay to countries around the world.

This month, Clay posted a blog that revealed he’s been traveling to record music for his new album. “I am quite happy with what we are doing this time, and extremely satisfied with the direction we are headed in on this album,” Clay said.

Happy Birthday, Clay

AMERICAN IDOL.COM

[Carolina Clay]

Hello, ANN! 

Earlier this afternoon I uploaded a new Carolina On My Mind blog that features some of the great press Clay received yesterday, graphics (by Ashes, ACA, and cindilu2), and lists the 134 countries that have visited the journal this year. Our guy is definitely a worldwide star!

Hope you enjoy. Thank you for your comments, retweets, and all the birthday greetings you posted for Clay in the previous entry. This is a clickable of the new blog's lead graphic by Ashes (photo by PermaSwooned):

Clickable by Ashes

Have an awesome afternoon or -- if you're in the eastern time zone -- evening! 

Caro 

CAROLINA ON MY MIND

[clayharmony]

OMGolly...mea culpa, mea culpa...I was supposed to start back doing the news for today.  Special thanks to you Marilyn, for carrying on in my absence.  My excuse...retirement seems to stop time/calendars...eek...okay,  I'll try to get my act together. 

Here's something, in case you haven't visited the CV...interesting chart placements! 

From CV:

QUOTE
CHART DATE: 11/30/2009
LAST UPDATE: 12/01/2009 13:38:43
NOW IN: FINAL

LW TW artist / album label power index % change
-- 1 SUSAN BOYLE COLUMBIA 669,843 --
I DREAMED A DREAM
2 2 ANDREA BOCELLI DECCA 215,002 +12%
MY CHRISTMAS
-- 3 ADAM LAMBERT 19/RCA/RMG 195,974 --
FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
-- 4 LADY GAGA INTERSCOPE 181,279 --
FAME MONSTER (EP)
-- 5 RIHANNA DEF JAM/IDJ 180,198 --
RATED R
29 6 MILEY CYRUS HOLLYWOOD 151,653 +391%
TIME OF OUR LIVES
34 7 LADY GAGA INTERSCOPE 144,622 +398%
FAME
11 8 TAYLOR SWIFT BIG MACHINE 122,848 +48%
FEARLESS
9 9 CARRIE UNDERWOOD 19/ARISTA NASHVILLE 114,393 +34%
PLAY ON
8 10 MICHAEL JACKSON EPIC 106,050 +8%
THIS IS IT
3 11 NORAH JONES BLUE NOTE 105,451 -41%
THE FALL
7 12 TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON CHOP SHOP/ATLANTIC 102,374 -4%
SOUNDTRACK
14 13 CASTING CROWNS PROVIDENT/REUNION 88,644 +33%
PEACE ON EARTH
1 14 JOHN MAYER COLUMBIA 84,990 -72%
BATTLE STUDIES
-- 15 SHAKIRA COLUMBIA 83,360 --
SHE WOLF
6 16 JUSTIN BIEBER ISLAND/IDJMG 82,359 -38%
MY WORLD
15 17 NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL MUSIC SONY MUSIC 73,896 +24%
NOW 32
18 18 GLEE CAST COLUMBIA 65,573 +27%
GLEE, VOL. 1
20 19 TAYLOR SWIFT BIG MACHINE 62,148 +43%
HOLIDAY COLLECTION
16 20 MICHAEL BUBLE REPRISE 59,903 +8%
CRAZY LOVE
4 21 50 CENT SHADY/AFTERMATH/INT 59,717 -62%
BEFORE I SELF DESTRUCT
19 22 BON JOVI ISLAND/IDJMG 57,562 +15%
THE CIRCLE
27 23 BLACK EYED PEAS INTERSCOPE 53,828 +67%
E.N.D. (ENERGY NEVER DIES)
5 24 CASTING CROWNS PROVIDENT/REUNION 49,388 -66%
UNTIL THE WHOLE WORLD HEARS
35 25 OWL CITY UNIVERSAL REPUBLIC 45,688 +61%
OCEAN EYES
23 26 JOSH GROBAN REPRISE 42,000 +13%
NOEL
24 27 LADY ANTEBELLUM CAPITOL NASHVILLE 40,547 +11%
LADY ANTEBELLUM
25 28 STING DEUTSCHE GRAMMOPHON 38,644 +16%
IF ON A WINTER'S NIGHT
26 29 TIM MCGRAW CURB 38,424 +18%
SOUTHERN VOICE
37 30 MICHAEL JACKSON EPIC 37,950 +53%
NUMBER ONES
10 31 KRIS ALLEN 19/JIVE/ZLG 34,920 -59%
KRIS ALLEN
32 32 JAY-Z ROC NATION/ATLANTIC 34,448 +16%
BLUEPRINT 3
-- 33 BIRDMAN CASH MONEY/UNIV MOTOWN 33,923 --
PRICELE$$
36 34 SUGARLAND MERCURY NASHVILLE 32,138 +14%
GOLD & GREEN
-- 35 JAY SEAN CASH MONEY/UNIV MOTOWN 31,855 --
ALL OR NOTHING
33 36 ZAC BROWN BAND ATLANTIC 31,769 +7%
FOUNDATION
17 37 PAUL MCCARTNEY HEAR MUSIC 31,187 -43%
GOOD EVENING NEW YORK
30 38 TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA LAVA/ATLANTIC 29,402 -2%
NIGHT CASTLE
45 39 TAYLOR SWIFT BIG MACHINE 28,463 +79%
TAYLOR SWIFT
42 40 JASON ALDEAN BROKEN BOW 26,314 +34%
WIDE OPEN
44 41 HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE WALT DISNEY 26,066 +62%
SOUNDTRACK
48 42 BEYONCE COLUMBIA 26,054 +71%
I AM... SASHA FIERCE
-- 43 PEARL JAM MONKEYWRENCH 24,546 --
BACKSPACER
38 44 DARIUS RUCKER CAPITOL NASHVILLE 23,530 +8%
LEARN TO LIVE
28 45 MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER AMERICAN GRAMAPHONE 22,598 -28%
CHRISTMAS: 25TH ANNIVERSARY
49 46 MICHAEL BUBLE REPRISE 21,440 +50%
LET IT SNOW
13 47 LEONA LEWIS J RECORDS/RMG 21,431 -69%
ECHO
40 48 ROD STEWART J RECORDS/RMG 21,414 +2%
SOULBOOK
-- 49 MICHAEL BUBLE REPRISE 21,352 --
CALL ME IRRESPONSIBLE
50 50 WEEZER DGC/INTERSCOPE 20,885 +48%
RADITUDE