OCD SUPPORT GROUP - SESSION 134 -Clay is our gold at the end of the rainbow!!!

[fhmmany2]

 

Going to write a quick post while the internet is on!

I hooked Lewis on Big Brother 11 and on America's Got Talent this summer - we just finished watching the finale of BB, and the person we liked won! 

Jan - I will be stealing your cyber doughnuts every time I get a chance - they do not have any fat or calories!  Enjoy the wedding - hope you get to post some photos.

Betty - I left a message for Shirl today, but she did not call back - I was afraid she was having problems. Glad you got the workmans' comp problems worked out - I know that was frustrating.

We did not get to go to Cameron's ball game - one of our agents had a personal problem, and Lewis worked late writing a contract and showing another house - Cameron has games every Tuesday, though, so we will go next week.

Good Night, OCd - Sweet Dreams - see you tomorrow, internet permitting.

[Claygirl]

Hello all,
This is the first chance I've had to check in, (I guess the depression and my health are what make me too tired to do anything, like get anything done on the computer, ) and I've just been crying through all your posts to me, and your keeping my mom and I in your prayers means the world to me. You've given us things to look into and think about, and just given us hope.
Prissy, thank you for your kind words and suggestions, my mom and I are in such a hard, impossible situation...believe me, we're desperately trying to find any way we can to make it through, it isn't a matter of pride or finding shame in asking for help at all, we just know there are so many others out there that are even less fortunate then us, people without a home or car...we're researching Welfare, (we hadn't thought of the United Way,) and it doesn't look like we qualify, because we're not disabled and we do own our townhome, we were able to pay off the mortgage with the little bit we got from my dads life insurance, and even though there's no income at all, it doesn't look like we qualify for that reason alone, we're afraid we'll be told to sell our home, for money to live on, when we have no place else to go, no way to afford another place to live, and not to mention that homes aren't selling with the economy!
My mom did apply online for food stamps and other monetary benefits from the state of IL, we're waiting for them to call us and set up an appointment to see us, online it said we qualify for immediate assistance, so we just have to wait and see what this'll lead to, I know before my mom met my dad, she tried for food stamps and as soon as they found out her mom, (my grandmother) was around and owned a home, they turned her away, so we're hesitating to believe we'll get anything, with our owning the house, but we're hopeful.
We wish we could try for unemployment! My mom's been out of work too long to qualify, and the job I'm looking for will be my first one, so that's not an option either.
We would love if contacting our family was an option, my grandparents on my dad's side are gone, (as is my grandfather on my mom's side,) other family on his side, we've never even met, and family on my mom's side have been estranged, largely because of my grandmothers actions, since my mom was a baby, we've never met any of them, and only know that some family are in down state Illinois.
The only one we should be able to go too, is my grandmother, but she's a very cruel, hateful person, who would never ever help us. Maybe you remember when I posted about the birthday card she sent my mom? Where she ridiculed my mom, and called not only my grandfather, but my dad names, and didn't even acknowledge me? There was no phone number on the card, or return address, and it was all out of the blue, because twenty years ago, she cut out all contact with my mom, changed her phone number, and we never heard from her again. Besides pictures, I can't even tell you what she looks like, because the last time I saw her, I was a baby! She's never wanted anything to do with us, and before my mom met my dad, she fell on very hard times then too, and my grandmother refused to help her then too. My mom wanted to do great things, be a draftsmen, a vet, go into real estate, my grandmother wouldn't help at all, weather it meant money, help with school, buying a drafting table, or even just watching me as a baby, she said she wanted to be paid, $200, $300 a time to "babysit" me, her own granddaughter.
When my mom had me, there were complications, and she needed two D and C's, one when I was six weeks old, the other when I was ten weeks, the doctors thought she might even need a hysterectomy, and my dad had to stay home with me, and my mom needed my grandmother to be with her in the hospital, and also to be released into her care after surgery, she was bleeding so heavily, and she begged my grandmother to help, and her advice was to "call a cab". My mom, not having anyone else, had to hire a nurse, just for about twenty minutes, just to be released into her care, so she could come home, and be driven home by her.
She also wouldn't come to the hospital when I came down with a really bad case of rotavirus when I was eleven months old, and on an IV, threaten to try and get my dad fired from his job when I was little, not to mention that she left my mom and her other two kids, when my mom was only sixteen, to go off with another man, and when she found out my mom was going to have me, she told her to have an abortion.
Do you see why we can't go to her for help?
My aunt is the exact same way as her, my uncle moved away, and we don't even know where he is.
We're not trying to stay isolated, we just are, always have been, you should've seen the disbelief from the nurses at the hospital when my dad passed away when they'd ask if there was anyone they should contact for us, and they'd start naming off, Aunts? Uncles? Cousins? Grandparents? And we had to sit there and keep saying, "no, no, no, no one."
We were hoping we'd find jobs before it came to needing to find a pantry, but that doesn't seem to be happening either.
Thank you for keeping us in your prayers Prissy.
I told my mom about everything Thea's suggested, and we're looking into the food stamps, and maybe even a church closer to our home, and still holding out hope for jobs of course.
It would be wonderful if I could bring some good news over soon, I really feel for Susan/Boca right now, I imagine she must be faced with the same kind of struggles.

Thea, you're such a dear friend, thank you for your PM, and for all the contact information you gathered, just everything you've done, I've sent you a PM and I would love if you would give me the contact number of the Bishop at the Mormon congregation. The employment services sound like a very promising thing to look into. I'm going to leave it up to my mom to call him, or another church closer to us, whatever she's most comfortable with.
I would never think it was a way of proselytizing, I know you're trying to help, and it's so very kind of you.
I still can't figure out a way to save our health insurance though, even if we have to drop it, and by some miracle we find jobs, and tried to get it back, to start it over again at my mom's age will be way more then we could ever afford.
I'll do my best to stay in touch, like I said, I'm usually always here trying to catch up, it's just hard to get back to posting after I've missed so much.
I really wish we could contact family, but like I told Prissy, I don't think it's possible, there's just no one, everyone here at the OCD has shown more kindness and compassion and acceptance then our family ever has, I even think of you all as family more then I do people I have no contact with at all.
It's really not a matter of closing the door on that possibility, why would we want to be alone, if there was even a chance of someone to go too. If I can share all of this with you ladies here, we most certainly would go to family if it were possible. It's a very sad situation.

Betty, I sent you a PM. I agree that it's so wonderfully kind of Thea and Prissy to try and help, it goes to show what wonderful people are apart of this board. You of course being one of them.

Thank you Jan, we're going to keep trying to get by, and find help, the sadness and worry just gets the better of us sometimes.

Thank you for you advice too, Frankie, you've all given me a lot to think about, and share with my mom, we did go to every store/business around us to apply for jobs in person, just most of anything we find, says to apply online, any jobs we've spotted in the paper, never say to come in person, it's always apply online, and then you'd go in person if called for an interview.
I've watched a lot of those job experts on the news, and we always try to follow their tips and advice, I know you have to fill out a lot of applications just to get one interview, I just thought we'd at least get one by now.
I'm glad I told you all everything too, I love you all, and wouldn't want you to think I'd left, at least everyone knows what's going on now, if I'm to sad to post at times.

Shirley thank you for your advice too, we haven't taken a class on what to say on an interview, but we've read lots of good tips on things to say, what employers what to hear, things like that, who knows, maybe we'd ace an interview, if we could just get one!
It's tough to go apply in person though, there aren't many businesses around us, and the ones that are. aren't hiring, my mom and I have talked about how we can't go "door-to door" asking if anyone's hiring...there's nothing but homes around us!

Glory, I sent you a PM, I know I should've written about what my mom and I are going through sooner, I just didn't want to burden everyone with our problems I guess, I do think of you all as family, and I love you all dearly, and appreciate how much you're all trying to help more then I can say.

Thank you Carol, hopefully we'll get help soon, starting with the food stamps.

I'm going to split up my post.
~Kelly~

[Claygirl]

My mom did go for another test for another 911 operator position, (a different suburb this time,) last Saturday, but she doesn't think she did too well on the test, everything was different from last time, instead of there being questions that actually had something to do with what she might encounter as an operator, there was questions on math and literature, and one section where you had to put down what you think verses what the public might say, very strange.
Also last time they gave everyone two hours to take the test, this time it was split up into two 90 second sections, and one 12 minute section, the rest of the time everyone had to listen to this very intimidating operator who's been there for forty years, basically, (from what my mom said,) try to scare people away, (she and three other operators were the only ones there, when last time they had the chief of police and fire captain there,) she said anyone who passed the test would have to have a credit check, and a detective would have to come speak to your neighbors about you, that this was only a part time position, and the possibility of you moving up to full time is very slim, if you're even one minute late, you'll be suspended for the day without pay, if you're late three times, you're fired, (very scary, with our bad Chicago winters, can you imagine being stuck in a snow storm, and you're fired for it? ) you have to carry a pager, and be available to work anytime, including double shifts, all holidays and weekends, you're not allowed to leave your call center consol except for two, ten minute breaks during your shift, you even have to eat at your consol, and it will take a year for them to fully hire you, six months of training, and six months trial period.
She didn't say how many positions are open, but there was about four hundred people there. So, we're not holding our breath.

We had an interesting day last Thursday when we went to the ear doctor.
Everything went fine there, (my mom's ears needed cleaning much more then mine,) until my mom mentioned my nose bleeds to the doctor, (we go in the examining room together to save time,) something I didn't want to tell him, because the last time I did, he said he'd have to cauterize veins in my nose, with a laser, and could burn right through my nose.
He started getting really testy that I hadn't said anything about my nose when he was almost done with us, then said he could cauterise the veins right then and there with medication, but he could only do one side at a time.
I was very leery about that, since he said he'd have to use a laser last time, and I decided to be a difficult patient, (like you Frankie! when you wanted to find out more about the medications your doctor wanted you to take, ) and research it more before I let him do anything. He got really testy then when I told him some other time!
I think I made the right choice, I read online they use a caustic acid to cauterise the veins. Uh, don't really trust that...or him to do it, for that matter!
He does have the most lovely fish tank in his office, and I was standing there ooohing and awwing over how pretty the fish were, not realizing a bunch of patients had come in and were all staring at me! I guess I was blocking them from seeing the fish as well.
Then we ran a few errands, we went to the Post Office and I learned how to work the automated postal machine, which was fun, and we went to the DMV, where I finally got my state ID that I needed for if I ever find that job.
It only took about thirty minutes, but seemed much longer, having to stand in so many different lines, and meeting so many testy workers there.
The first line I was in, the lady was very nice, said she liked my necklace, then in another line was a man with a very thick accent that I was having trouble understanding, (he couldn't tell the color of my eyes, or that I have red hair, he thought I was blond! ) then he asked my height, and I thought he asked my age, so I said 22. As soon as I saw the look on his face, I knew I answered wrong, I don't know what he thought I meant, 22 feet tall? inches? Anyway, one of the forms of identification I needed was my mom to say who I am, and she took off and just started talking and handing him things like my birth certificate, etc, and I just let her take over, (it's easier that way, ) and just because I was waiting quietly, another worker, a woman, who was giving an older lady an eye test, asked my mom if I was disabled.
I can't stand that people always think there's something wrong with you if you're quiet.
A few more lines later, it was time for my picture to be taken, and I was called up by this sweet older man, so I left my purse with my mom, and I'm waiting in line behind another girl getting her picture taken, and I hear "step down, step down!" Another testy woman, (I didn't know she was talking to me!) was holding out her hand like she wanted something, so I said I didn't have anything, meaning I'd given all my paperwork to the other people in the last hundred lines, and she says, "You got a name?!?" I told her, and she started given me trouble, not believing my name, (I had both my last names put on my ID, like they are on my birth certificate, my mom's last name that I always use, and my dad's much longer and much harder to spell one,) and she couldn't understand this, so I had to go back and get my social security card, from my mom who was holding my purse, and she came back there, and in a very loud fighting voice, was explaining where I get my names from, and in a very loud voice, said, "You want to see it?!?" (My birth certificate.) Everyone in the whole place looked up at us, I don't get embarrassed that easily, so I thought it was pretty funny. And it made her get on with the picture, (I was hoping the nice older man would've taken my picture, he was so nice to this other girl, telling her to take her time, take off her glasses for a better picture, this one just barked at me to look straight ahead and took it right away, of course I'd get the mean one!)
So I have my ID, (with one scary picture on it! ) and when we left, this very old man, who appearly flunked his driving test, stopped us and kept asking my mom how to pass it next time! He must've been talking for ten minutes or more, and we didn't want to be rude and walk away, but we couldn't really understand his accent either, and he didn't seem like he should be driving anyway.
Then we went to the store, and picked up a few things, (there was a sale,) and since I had my ID, I opened a checking account in the bank branch of the Jewel, (lots of grown up things that day! I'm all ready for that job, if I can just find one! ) my mom had been wanting to switch banks for awhile, and since we have no money, I guess now seemed like the best time, because she opened a checking account there last week, it was free to open, and you get $50 for opening it, then she got $25 more for recommending a "friend", (me!) and I got $50 as well.
Then, they're doing construction work on the Jewel, and my mom swore she saw a worker who looked just like David Cook, so I needed to see this for myself. She was right, this guy could pass for David's twin brother! I pretty much followed him through out the store, and was staring, and had my mom, (who had the cart,) walk by with me a few times, so I could pretend I was just shopping. He looked up a few times with big eyes, probably wondering why two crazy women were following him! (He was just so cute I couldn't look away! ) That was a very fun shopping trip.
On our way home we heard David on the radio too, so I was pretty happy and had a nice day, for a change. With the money from our new checking account, we were even able to get a few things from McDonald's for lunch, and I discovered how good their iced coffee is!

I'm still catching up, and if I ever finish I'll be back with a few more posts, and hopefully do better at staying in touch, I never mean to stay away for so long, I guess I clam up when things are bothing me, I think I get that from my dad who was also quiet to a fault, but from my posts you can tell what happens when I start talking!

What really made me smile though, was Meesa's very happy news!
Congratulations Meesa!

You and Joe make a lovely couple, and your ring is just beautiful! I can't tell you how happy I am for you! I'll bet you're going to have such fun planning your wedding, (how I would love to, and wish I could, be there!) please give us lots of details!
You're a very lucky girl, and I wish you and Joe the very best as you start your new life together!

~Kelly~

[Pepe]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!!!!!!! 

My gosh KELLY  your little fingers must be ready to fall off!!!!  Thanks for keeping us updated on how things are going!!!  I would try getting  a job at McDonalds for a start.  Hopefully they are hiring.  That would be a start at least.  Some of the fast food places pay pretty good when you can reach being manager or show that you are interested in management.  How about cleaning houses, put an ad in the paper to help busy working moms.  So many people are hurting right now, my family included. 

 

[fhmmany2]

 

good Morning!

Kelly -  I am so happy to see you here this morning. I know you and your Mom will keep trying - that is the most important thing - just don't give up! I'm happy you now have an ID card and a checking account - two very good steps.

Good Morning to you, too, Pepe - looks like we are the first ones up this morning.

As with Prissy, our rain seems to have stopped for a while, even though it is still in the forecast for today.

Amy emailed me photos of Cameron in his football uniform last night - in one of them, he is standing next to the referee on the field - and he is bigger than the adult - where did our baby go?

Have a great day, everyone - see you later. 

[KSChristian4Clay]

Good morning everyone! 

[Glory]

                  GOSH KELLY WE ALL LOVE YOU AND CARE ABOUT YOU. I NEVER HEARD OF BEING PENALIZED FOR OWNING YOUR OWN HOME, SOMETHING ABOUT THAT IS SO WRONG, SO IF YOU ARE HOMELESS YOU CAN GET HELP LOOKS TO ME LIKE THEY WOULD BE EAGER TO HELP.TO KEEP YOU FROM BEING ANOTHER STASTIC.

                             BTW GOOD MORNING. BUSY DAY BECCAS BACK WE ARE HAVING OUR FITTING FOR OUR DRESSES TODAY. OYHER THAN THAT NOTHING NEW. TTYL

[Pepe]

Good Morning GLORY and FRANKIE, nope they do not penalize you for owning your own house, you can get food stamps and help all you have to do is go to social services and if you are under certain income there is help for you.   You just have to go and apply for it.

GLORY, that should be a fun day for everyone getting your dresses fitted.  I am singing the song memories right now as you will have many by the time the wedding is over.  Hope you are feeling good Miss GLORY! 

PRISSY, the leaves are turning colors here and some of the grass is dying, and it will be in the low 40's tonight so I guess fall is really here, I have missed summer , it passed me right by. 
The weeds are still out there though. 

[Glory]

                                I THINK SUMMER PASSED US ALL BY PEPE.NEVER GOT 90 HERE ALL SUMMER LOTS OF RAIN I DO NOT DO WELL IN HEAT ANYWAY. THE LEAVES ARE TURNING HERE ALSO. I MUST HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD KELLYS POST I WILL REREAD IT.

[Moonshot]

I've got a new place opened up for everyone since this one has gotten quite full:


OCD SESSION 135

Locking up here!