BLACK LEATHER PANTS...HELLO!...MANSION 93 (RATED R)

[PHILLYLUVSCLAY]

YOU GUYS HAVE TO READ THIS....

THIS IS FROM THE NEW SITE "GETCLAYAIKEN" WHICH WAS THE OLD WMS(WEAPONS OF MASS SEDUCTION)

LAUGHN WROTE THIS WONDER DITTY ABOUT HOW PORR JENNIFER THE NEW ASSISTANT TO CLAY IS FAIRING ALONG..

Morning Adventures of Jennifer and Clay
by laughn at getclayaiken.com

Friday, December 29, 2006
Stepping into the dark over a pair of shoes, a t-shirt, two pair of sweats, more shoes and stepping way around a pile of boxers sitting near the end of the dresser, Jennifer shakes Clay’s shoulder.

J “Get up Clay”

C *mumbles* “Don’t you wish. Owww! Don’t hit me!”

J “I’m gonna do more than that if you don’t get your lazy butt out of bed. I swear, this is the last time I’m coming in here today.

C “Mumph” * rolls over and pulls covers over head*

J “I mean it Clay. It’s time to get up now.”

J walks around to open the curtains.

C “GO AWAY WOMAN!”

J “Now, now…that’s how rumors get started”

C *says something that sounds like it starts with the letter ‘F’*

J “Don’t take that tone with me, Clay Aiken. You hired me to do this”

C “Ah didn’t hire you to torture me. It’s still the middle of the night. Let me sleep!”

J “It’s 11:30 am and…”

C “Like Ah said, the middle of the night”

J “…and you have appointments to keep and people to piss off and…Oops, sorry. That slipped”

C “S’ok, but see, Ah’m pissing you off already and Ah ain’t even out of bed yet, so Ah can sleep for a little while more.”

J walks around to the end of the bed

C “Owwww! Quit pulling the hair on the back of my legs!”

J “You know that’s disgusting”

C “What?”

J “You know. That tattoo you refuse to scrub off”

C “Ah can’t. It’s too funny. When the hair started growing back it made Jimmy look like an old man. As soon as he gets a little more hair growin’ out his ears and nose Ah’m sending him another picture” *snort *

J “Men.”

C *Clay opens one blurry eye* “Ah’m still on vacation”

J “Not anymore. Listen, we really do have lots to do before you get started working on this new tour. The Christmas trees have to come down and…”

C “Good Lord, woman! You don’t need mah help to take down those trees. Mah momma…”

C “Owwwwwwwwwwww!”

J “Remember? You’re never supposed to say those words to me.”

C *rubbing back of head* “Sorry.”

J “Your momma didn’t have 3,000 new fan ornaments to pack away and she doesn’t have two dogs who like to eat the tinsel and then get sick all over the living room while I’m trying to fix your breakfast…which by the way is all healthy again. When you told Jay you only eat one meal a day you failed to mention that it consisted of fried Snicker bars. I just gave the deep fryer to the Salvation Army.”

C “awwwww”

J “S’ok, lover boy. Should get rid of the zits and the double chin”

C *pouts*

J “Come on, you know I’m just teasing…well, about the zits and the double chin thing. I love a man with a little meat on him…but I really did pitch the deep fryer.”

C “AWWWWW”

J “We've got to get you in shape for the next tour…and since I guess I must be the ‘trainer’ you hired, I’ll start by having you bend over and pick up all that mess in the backyard from Raleigh and Durham. I’m sure it’s giving that news copter from WGHP quite a visual.”

C “Wait a minute. Ah’m sure they can’t see all the piles of pooh around my backyard from way up there”

J “Didn’t I mention the dogs have been eating the tinsel off the trees? The backyard is sparkling”

C “Crap”

J “Exactly”

C *still not moving*

J “Ok, Aiken. You’re going to make me do this.”

J walks towards kitchen

C “What?”

hears glasses and plates being moved around

C “What are you doing out there?!”

J *shouting * “I thought your collection of McDonald’s Glasses of the World would look good on this shelf right here, and my earth tone ceramic plates from Pottery Barn would fit on this shelf right there and…”

C “Noooooooo!!! Stop that! Ah’m up! Ah’m coming!”

J “You know one of these mornings I’m going to tape record you saying that. Ebay gold”

tune in next time for more adventures of Jennifer and Clay

[fantasy]

Krista ~   Glad you are enjoying your WARM temps!  Is it time to visit cold, snowy Chicago again??? 

Hey RedHot!  How are you?? 

Debbie ~ glad you got your print!  I heard they are very nice.

Clandy, I wouldn't mind that actually. I would love to see some snow, at least once.

Does it come like this? 





Hi Susan. 

[LadyC]

  Everybody!!!

Been MIA again.  Rickety body thinks it's 96, not 36.     Hurts!!!

But the Mansion's been callin' me.  (   Er is that one of my alternate personalities breaking through? )

Hey PhillyGirl - I've been watching the national news (Not necessarily a good thing, makes me cynical.  LOL) and they're talking about a horrible wreck just south of Philly on the highway - two huge fire trucks...  Heard anything about it?  It looks awful.  They said they don't know if there are fatalities among the firefighters, but the trucks are on their sides and literally in pieces, and one has a sheet draped over the cab.  From my student days doing Paramedic ride-a-longs, to me that says fatality...  I have a soft spot for firefighters, as they're amazing people and also, I married one.  I was just wondering if you'd heard anything more definite, being so close to home and all...



And speaking of the news, did y'all see the case where some  mother ing  hole was using a freakin' stun gun on his 18 month old son to discipline him?!?!?  WTF is wrong with people!?!?!??! Seriously!    That guy needs a close total body shave with a cheese grater and a nice soak in lemon juice, the 

Uh hem ...  ... okay, I'm turning off the news.     I swear.

Any new pics of Clay's butt in jeans?   

[redhotclay]

Hi Philly & Clandy 

Life is a little.. a lot.... sort of...                          

all of the above and much more...

hope everyone is well   

[NCSandhillsDeb]

What a hoot!!!!!!!!  Looking forward to more adventures of Jennifer and Clay.......wow, to be Jennifer!!!!!!!!

Debbie

[redhotclay]

Hi Krista 

Hi Kris   

[LadyC]

Hi Krista 

Hi Kris   

Hi sweetheart.  It'll get a little better every day, I promise.    

[fantasy]

Kris 

Stop watching all the news and watch Buffy and Angel.  I stopped watching the morning news shows and watch Angel instead. Makes me much happier in the morning. 

[ILClaymate]

Phillygirl ~   Loved the Jennifer and Clay story!

Krista ~ I've been checking my snow and I haven't seen any like that...but I'll keep checking!  He can melt my snow! 

Kris ~ Hey MsMIA!  Glad you missed us, er the mansion!!    Sorry, the jeans have also been MIA but I can give you some GMA buns...

[PHILLYLUVSCLAY]

KRISSYPOO IS BACK!!

I JUST TALKED TO MY MOM ABOUT THE 1-95 ACCIDENT, SADLY, 1 PERSON WAS CONFIRMED KILLED.

HOW ABOUT NICE FITTING PANTS....



THAT'S ONE OF MY SCREENCAPS!

NOTICE HOW THE FABRIC CLINGS TO THE PACKAGE MAKING IT FEEL SO COMFY AND SNUG!

*AHEM, SO UM HOW DID YOU LIKE THE LOVE MOBILE, I PUT ON TOP OF YOUR BED? LARRY KING LOOK SO ADORABLE IN THE CUPID COSTUME, I COULDN'T RESIST*

SLINKS OFF TO DECORATE MORE OF KRISSY'S ROOM..

[fantasy]

Well I'm going to lunch. But I'm not going to have buns like that. Darn.

But I will be getting the new Fall Out Boy CD. I'm so excited.  Talk to ya'll in a little bit.

[redhotclay]

OMG  That ass is       

[LadyC]

  SOMEBODY GET PHILLY OUTTA MY ROOM!!!!   

Philly, you cute little shit!     You get away from my room right this minute!  Did I forget to mention that I got a pit bull and trained him to attack you on site?  Well, you and also Nick, unfortunately, because that's the photo I used.  *hums Love In an Elevator*

I'm sad to hear there has been a confirmed death in the firefighter crash.  Let me know if you hear anything else, will ya?  I've turned it to Judging Amy, hoping watching Amy Brenneman save the world will improve my mood.   

Clandy -    Love ya!!!!  Thanks for the GMA buns.  They scream PINCH ME!  Definitely drool worthy, no?  I love how he's filling out  ... everywhere.   

Krista - I did watch Buffy this morning.  It was the one where Glory takes Dawn and Buffy goes all catatonic.  I've seen it a million times before, but for some reason when I saw it this time I wanted to slap the stupid outta her.     What's with the thousand yard stare, Slayer?  GET A GRIP!   

As for Angel, I'm waiting for it to flip back over to season one again.  Not a big fan of season five.  Has it gotten to the finale yet?   I don't watch the finale because I hate Illyria, it's not the same show without Cordy, I cry EVERY time Wesley dies, and I prefer to think of him still alive and dark and sexy, and I like my denial very much, thank you.       So I'll wait until it restarts cuz I'm a big baby.

But I HAVE been watching Bones, and DAYUM, that show just gets better and better, and my David just gets hotter and hotter!  Last week's was pretty intense.


Speaking of TV ... anybody else here get sucked in to Desperate Housewives?   

[ILClaymate]

Have a nice lunch, Krista!

I hope that Frannie makes it home ok today from AZ.  She is under the same snow advisory we are with 3-5".  I hope her flight isn't delayed or cancelled.  Although I'm sure she would rather stay in AZ than be here!!

[PHILLYLUVSCLAY]

*PHILLY BRINGS KIBBLES AND BITS, KIBBLES AND BITS, KIBBLES AND BITS!*

PHILLY PETS KRISSYPOO'S POUCHIE....

AHHH, YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD DOGGIE, NOW, LET ME IN THE ROOM!

I GOT A SURPISE FOR YOUR MOMMY TOO!



*PHILLY RUNS IN THE ROOM*

*COUGHS UP A PINK BOA FEATHER*

[PHILLYLUVSCLAY]

Have a nice lunch, Krista!

I hope that Frannie makes it home ok today from AZ.  She is under the same snow advisory we are with 3-5".  I hope her flight isn't delayed or cancelled.  Although I'm sure she would rather stay in AZ than be here!!

YES, I WAS WONDERING ABOUT HER MYSELF. I HOPE SHE GETS HOME SOON..DO YOU THINK THE WOMAN GOT THE SHAKES NOT BEING ON THE BLPT?

[PHILLYLUVSCLAY]

FOUND THIS ALSO AT GETCLAYAIKEN....

POSTED BY YSIR

Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
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If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
window?

[fantasy]

Krista - I did watch Buffy this morning.  It was the one where Glory takes Dawn and Buffy goes all catatonic.  I've seen it a million times before, but for some reason when I saw it this time I wanted to slap the stupid outta her.     What's with the thousand yard stare, Slayer?  GET A GRIP!   

As for Angel, I'm waiting for it to flip back over to season one again.  Not a big fan of season five.  Has it gotten to the finale yet?   I don't watch the finale because I hate Illyria, it's not the same show without Cordy, I cry EVERY time Wesley dies, and I prefer to think of him still alive and dark and sexy, and I like my denial very much, thank you.       So I'll wait until it restarts cuz I'm a big baby.

But I HAVE been watching Bones, and DAYUM, that show just gets better and better, and my David just gets hotter and hotter!  Last week's was pretty intense.

Yes Angel started season 1 this morning. My problem is that I watch the ep from 6:00-7:00 CST so I end up seeing the same eps. Not that it's a big deal because I can watch any ep, any time.  The series finale was on yesterday and I still can't watch the part where Wesley dies. It's too much for me. And yes Buffy bugs me sometimes and I just want to slap her or shake her.
I haven't seen last week's Bones yet (I have it on tape) but will watch the new ep tomorrow. It is a really good show, and he looks so good.

Clandy and Philly, Frannie is supposed to come back today? I hope she is able to get back. It is quieter without her.

[Beth]

FOUND THIS ALSO AT GETCLAYAIKEN....

POSTED BY YSIR

 

[ILClaymate]

Clandy and Philly, Frannie is supposed to come back today? I hope she is able to get back. It is quieter without her.

Yes she is.     I'm going to tell her you said that!!  We do miss our Ms. Fran!!

I'm going to go ahead and start our new mansion since we are getting pretty close in case I can't get online later or if it's being SLOW which usually happens when I need to do something!  Then also we can have fun decorating this afternoon!!    Give me a few minutes and I'll let you know when we are ready.